We’ve had a lot of fucking rain around here. Almost seven times more than average. Whoa.

Yo. It’s a few minutes past midnight but I haven’t actually decided if I feel like writing a Howdygram post or not. I had a difficult and emotional day on Saturday that turned out to be another sad milestone in the deterioration of my overall health. For instance, Sam and I had to accept that I will no longer be able to get out of bed … not counting occasional use of my portable commode once or twice a week.

Manischewitz Beet Borscht is the perfect way to spend a lazy summer afternoon.

FRIDAY, 8/14/2018, 9:57 P.M. It’s a quiet Friday night here at Howdygram headquarters. Sam is asleep on the sofa, mumbling, and I just placed fabulous online orders with Wal-Mart — a six-jar set of Manischewitz Beet Borscht for yours truly, 12 pairs of socks for Sam and an ear wax removal kit — plus two nice pairs of fluffy, lightweight athletic shoes from Amazon, obviously for Sam as well because I haven’t been able to walk since the spring of 2012. Incidentally, I have a quick question about Fruit of the Loom’s ridiculous packaging claim: What the fuck are “EVERYDAY CUSHIONED ANKLES?”

Ensure is a liquid meal replacement for senior citizens with shitty appetites. (Like me.)

Another hot, sticky summer day in Texas … at 9:45 in the morning it’s already 89° outside, and the temperature is expected to reach 103°. As I write this post I’m waiting for a hospice C.N.A. to show up for my first bathing and powdering hoo-hah of the week. She’s running late today and can’t get here until noon, but I don’t mind because there’s nothing else to do, anyway.)