We have a twister watch with basketball-size hail and a 70% chance of flying monkeys.

Hi, guys. It’s already Sunday night and I’ve been trying, in one way or another, to write this Howdygram post since sometime before breakfast. I’m not exactly sure what’s been holding me back aside from disinterest, lack of motivation, running out of ideas and a powerful proclivity for naps. In any event, here I am at last. All yours!

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Please permit me to introduce you to Lucky Clover Trading Co., a website that I discovered a few hours ago while searching online for affordable storage baskets because they’re so goddamn overpriced everywhere else. No kidding, people, LUCKY CLOVER KNOCKED MY SOCKS OFF. I’m getting ready to order a black metal five-shelf étagère for the kitchen and I figure I’ll need two or three nice baskets for each shelf. The prices on Amazon were making me sick, and they also try to trap you into buying a “set of three” for $49.95 in three different sizes, of which at least one is usually useless and ridiculously teeny. In any event, here are my favorite baskets from Lucky Clover!

Let me give you the dimensions, okay? The rustic willow rectangular basket measures 20½" by 15½" by 6", the black woven shelf basket is 14" by 10½" by 10", the sea grass basket with handles is 14½" x 10½" by 5" and the very cute wood crate is 15¼" by 10½" by 9". These are large, substantial baskets, some reinforced with metal frames, and they’re all VERY DAMN INEXPENSIVE. Right now I’m considering nine sea grass baskets plus one or two wood crates to hold kitchen towels and other folded whatnots.

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Before I forget ... we’ve got some AUTHENTIC TEXAS WEATHER on the way tonight! The National Weather Service has issued a twister watch until breakfast and powerful storms are expected to roll through here all day and continue until 10 p.m. tonight with strong wind, basketball-size hail and a 70% chance of flying monkeys. A screen shot of our current forecast appears below for your possible interest.

Stay tuned for additional updates, okay? There’s a lot of scary weather in the vicinity and the sky has looked like Armageddon since 3:30 Sunday afternoon.

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And now for a quick political update! It seems that Governor Mike Pence of Indiana is watching his approval rating circle the drain in a death spiral since signing the anti-gay Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) a couple of weeks ago. So what does he do? He hires Koch Industries’ communications director to help him stop the bleeding as he gears up for re-election in 2016. Pence and the Indiana legislature took a beating for the RFRA bill from the public and businesses, costing the state millions in revenue and thousands of potential jobs.

Mike Pence is PATHETIC. The authors of this bigoted legislation openly bragged about its blatant discrimination when it was first introduced and the public begged the governor repeatedly to not approve it. He was told over and over again that it would backfire on him and he was made aware that people would NOT just roll over and play dead on this issue, which was the reason he signed it in secret. Arrogant to the end, Pence decided the people he was picking on weren't important enough to take into consideration at all. And that’s why this tone deaf homobigot shitbag deserves everything he’s getting now ... and more.

Popular opinion says he couldn’t get elected dog catcher next year!

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Also in the news ... probable 2016 GOP clown car passengers presidential candidates Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum have signed a bullshit pledge sponsored by the right-wing Liberty Council, aligning themselves with the fanatic nutjobs who believe that same-sex marriage is an attack of the devil. A few highlights from this document appear below.

On the matter of marriage, we stand in solidarity. We affirm that marriage and family have been inscribed by the Divine Architect into the order of Creation. Marriage is ontologically between one man and one woman, ordered toward the union of the spouses, open to children and formative of family. Family is the first vital cell of society, the first government, and the first mediating institution of our social order. The future of a free and healthy society passes through marriage and the family…

As citizens united together, we will not stand by while the destruction of the institution of marriage unfolds in this nation we love. The effort to redefine marriage threatens the essential foundation of the family…

We will view any decision by the Supreme Court or any court the same way history views the Dred Scott and Buck v. Bell decisions. Our highest respect for the rule of law requires that we not respect an unjust law that directly conflicts with higher law. A decision purporting to redefine marriage flies in the face of the Constitution and is contrary to the natural created order. As people of faith we pledge obedience to our Creator when the State directly conflicts with higher law. We respectfully warn the Supreme Court not to cross this line.

We stand united together in defense of marriage. Make no mistake about our resolve. While there are many things we can endure, redefining marriage is so fundamental to the natural order and the common good that this is the line we must draw and one we cannot and will not cross.

Maybe somebody can explain this to me. Are Santorum and Huckabee a couple? ARE THEY REFUSING TO GAY-MARRY EACH OTHER? They don’t even know what the Supreme Court’s decision will be but they’re already signing a document refusing to obey it. And theses two imbeciles want to run for president?!

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I need to go to bed now. My work here is done.