Sam is so goddamn adorable I want to eat him on a bagel.

I always enjoy the promise of a shiny new day, especially when I felt like COMPLETE TOTAL CRAP when I went to bed the night before. It must be something about end-of-the-day fatigue that makes the pain in my body exponentially worse. Every night without fail I drag myself from the family room to the bedroom whining, crying, dizzy, slightly nauseated, out of breath and scaring the bejeezus out of Sam who, I must admit, has finally figured out how to cope with this quite well. Instead of trying to help me (which he really can’t) he stands a few feet ahead of me barking encouragement like a middle school football coach, such as YOU’RE ALMOST THERE! YOU CAN DO IT! GREAT JOB! ONLY A FEW MORE STEPS TO GO! Sam is so goddamn adorable I want to eat him on a bagel.

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In case you’re interested, I feel VERY TERRIFIC today. Bouncy, happy, well-rested, slightly hungry, devastatingly attractive and excited about refacing my kitchen cabinets! Eric from Kitchen Solvers emailed our project estimate last night, and after I Sam and I have a chance to make a couple of final decisions I hope we’ll get started REALLY SOON. However, the overall scope of our project has changed a little. We’re going to skip refacing the cabinets in the master bathroom for now and I also don’t want a custom kitchen island any more due to finding exactly what I want ready-built on HSN.com ... and they’re just as pretty and cost 75% less than the custom-built islands Eric quoted us. Here are a few of the choices from HSN. Are these terrific, or what? FYI, most of them measure about 48" wide by 20" to 24" deep; the Monarch island expands to 40" with the leaf. (That might be a little too much for my kitchen. I’ll have to double-check.)

However, in addition to launching The 2015 Kitchen Cabinet Remodeling Hoo-Hah we’re also getting started with Sam & Marcy’s Fancy Shower Adventure! I just spoke to a representative from ReBath and they’re sending us a consultant at 10 a.m. next Wednesday to scrutinize our master bathroom and tell us how many millions of dollars it will cost to achieve the glorious fancy-ass shower of our dreams.

The photo below is from ReBath’s website. We love that gorgeous swirly stone! Our shower will include an oversized door, a big sit-down bench, built-in shelves for shampoo and razors, a “rain” style shower head, a hand-held sprayer thingie for washing feet plus a couple of strategically-placed handicapped grab-bars for yours truly. We also want an estimate for a coordinating vanity top and matching cabinets. (Oy.)

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Mazel tov to me! My Clots “R” Us do-it-yourself amateur blood clot clinic opened for business one day early today when I inaugurated my new CoaguChek XS meter and emailed the test results to Dr. M’s office. Once again I’m totally within the “normal” range for a patient on Coumadin — the result was 2.4 — so I’ll do my next test 30 days from now. I’m glad to know I don’t have to test more often than that because the test strips cost a fucking FORTUNE even from the cheapo suppliers on eBay. A box of six costs $57.95!

I think I’d better forage for food in the kitchen now. Thank you for reading this.