Do we look like we just fell off a turnip truck?

It’s 4:45 p.m. and so far I’ve survived Triple Whammy Thursday with no additional whammies to report at this time, thank God. My temperature is holding steady at 99° (I can live with it) so I’ve been amusing myself with cart-stuffing at a few of my favorite web stores as I plan to redecorate the kitchen after we have our cabinets refaced. This will include a large black kitchen étagère that measures 74" by 48" by 18" and a number of excellent black wicker storage bins in assorted sizes. I LOVE THIS STUFF. (It’s all from Wal-Mart because the prices on Amazon were higher.)

I’ve also been window-shopping for kitchen seating so I can sit and admire my new cabinets while I wait for my senior citizen soup to boil. I’m pleased to announce that I came up with the following gorgeous options from Lamps Plus! The large black leather bench measures 51¼" long by 16½" deep by 20" high; the smaller bench is upholstered in VERY RITZY FABRIC and measures 24" long by 18½" deep by 20¼" high. (I would buy two of the smaller benches.) I know Sam will love them because he loves everything I buy (almost).

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As long as I’m discussing our kitchen I suppose I should offer a quick update on the state of our cabinet refacing project. It’s time for serious business now because Eric emailed his 10-page contract yesterday morning with lots of typical fine print stuff and requests for money. We ran into a snag with the money part of this.

The contract asks for a 50% deposit when we sign, another 40% when the materials are delivered and the final 10% when “a substantial amount of the work has been completed.” In other words, HE WANTS 90% OF HIS MONEY BEFORE HE STARTS THE PROJECT AND THE REST BEFORE HE’S DONE!  

Hold on, dude. Do we look like we just fell off a TURNIP TRUCK? What kind of idiot pays a contractor in full IN ADVANCE?!

Sam got really freaked out by this and called Eric to tell him our non-negotiable terms are 60% down and 40% on completion OR THE ENTIRE PROJECT WILL BE CALLED OFF. He eventually agreed but Sam could tell he’s scared to death that we’ll stiff him. (Why doesn’t he check our credit rating? That’s what it’s there for!)

Bottom line? Everything’s okay, we’re moving forward, and I’m extremely happy, hungry excited. (I’m ALWAYS hungry.)

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I’ve decided to order from Pizza Hut for dinner tonight because I’ve got a craving for their tasty Buffalo chicken lumps. Pizza Hut actually calls them “boneless wings,” but they’re basically just hunks of chicken white meat with orange Buffalo goo. (I don’t care WHAT they are. The damn things are delicious.)

Thanks for stopping by. Say hi to the family for me.