I can hardly wait to start metering my own clots right here at Howdygram headquarters.

Although you weren’t here to see me feeling extremely miserable on Wednesday and Thursday, I’m pleased to make the following Friday announcement:

I do not feel like crap today.

To tell you the truth, I might even admit to feeling ALMOST GOOD! I got seven delightful hours of sleep overnight — which is probably a modern-times record for a chronic insomniac such as moi — and then to celebrate Sam nuked me a couple of Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches on the cutest teeny round croissants I’ve ever seen in my entire life. He bought a big box of these at Costco yesterday when he couldn’t find any biscuit sandwiches. (I’m mostly partial to biscuit sandwiches. Especially Schwan’s.)

---

If you’re looking for an update on the status of my exciting new CoaguChek XS blood clotting meter (pictured at right) by Roche — would I joke about something like this? — I called the pharmacy at Wal-Mart yesterday to ask where’s my meter and what’s my co-pay, but they apparently hadn’t received my prescription yet from Dr. M’s office. Actually, I’ll bet she has to clear this first through Blue Cross so I shouldn’t be asking these questions until sometime next week.

And in case you’re among the general masses wondering what the fuck is a blood clotting meter, please take a minute to read yesterday’s post for complete information. THIS IS A VERY BIG HOO-HAH, PEOPLE, and I can hardly wait to start metering my own clots right here at Howdygram headquarters. I remember when I used to get amped-up like this about new shoes. Life as a senior citizen is very, very different.

---

I’ve got a large steaming pile of repulsive political horseshit for you — specifically relating to Aaron Schock, Mike Pence and Ted Cruz — but I just made an executive decision to publish this post as-is and hold off on the politics until after dinner because it’s almost 7:30 and I’M REALLY STARVING.

 Thank you for understanding.