Guess who just bought a new desk lamp for Howdygram headquarters.

This has NOT been the best Sunday. A few key reasons follow for your possible interest.

• I had a sickening migraine headache at 4 p.m. and Sam’s toes came to the rescue. (Please don’t ask me to explain this.)
• Both of my naps today were interrupted. Interrupted naps are annoying as hell.
• My right heel hurts and I’m short of breath. These two issues are probably unrelated.
• I experienced some major intestinal difficulties early this afternoon. Details will be provided on request.

Fortunately, after a large quantity of leftover Chinese food, several doses of my favorite prescription painkiller and a time-out with an excellent movie — The Prisoner of Zenda (1937) starring Ronald Colman, David Niven and Madeleine Carroll — I’m pleased to report that I feel considerably better right now and my crappy knees and feet only register at level one on Marcy’s Shit-O-Meter.

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Guess who just bought a new desk lamp for Howdygram headquarters! YOURS TRULY! I finally decided to make an executive decision about the attractive yet crappy fluorescent thing that hasn’t been right since the day I bought it eight years ago (the on/off switch only works half the time) so I found myself a lovely tortoise-color uplight lamp from Kirkland’s, which is pictured below in case you give a crap. It’s 27 inches tall and uses a 40-watt bulb. Yay, right?

Incidentally, if you’re ever in the market for lamps of any kind you should try shopping at Kirkland’s. Their quality is OUTSTANDING, the prices are amazing and they ship all over the United States. I’ve got Kirkland’s lamps in every room of my house except for the bathrooms because normal people don’t need lamps in a bathroom.

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A couple of days ago in the Howdygram I blasted the state of Indiana and Governor Mike Pence for their shitty new “religious freedom” law that gives Christians the legal right to persecute gays for Jesus [see post].

On Sunday, after facing enormous backlash in the press and on Twitter, Governor Pence appeared on ABC News to defend his state’s bill. Still clueless about why anybody would have a problem with legalized hatred, Pence relied on a favorite GOP talking point by insisting that the bill was NOT about “discrimination” but “empowering people to confront government overreach.” And in another familiar oldie, Pence insisted that “tolerance is a two-way street,” clearly not understanding the definition of the term. He also refused to answer any of the interviewer’s questions.

The bill, which was signed into law secretly on Thursday, prohibits the passage of any state laws that “substantially burden” the religious beliefs of individuals. According to the Associated Press, the definition of an “individual” in this case includes churches and religious institutions as well as businesses and other entities. So yes, now a restaurant can legally refuse service to same-sex couples, a real estate agent can discriminate against potential buyers and a bigoted transit driver can kick gays off a city bus for religious reasons.

The thing that impresses me most is that Pence said he “didn’t expect this kind of backlash.” Really, governor? Two of the biggest events to take place every year in Indianapolis, GenCon and the NCAA tournament, both said they’d consider relocating if you passed this bill; multiple businesses have already promised either to relocate and/or discontinue doing business in Indiana if you passed this bill; negative feedback was was all over the news and social media ... AND YOU DIDN’T EXPECT IT? As far as I’m concerned, you’re impeachable for that reason alone. If you’re so fucking stupid and out of touch that you don’t read the news, listen to American citizens or pay attention to large companies telling you things that will directly impact your state’s bottom line, YOU SHOULDN’T BE RUNNING THE STATE.

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It’s almost 5:30 a.m. and way past my bedtime — do insomniacs even have a bedtime? — but I want to take a quick minute include a nice picture of the forest pansy redbud tree in our back yard so you can see for yourself that spring is exploding in north Texas. The forest pansy redbud is an ornamental medium-size tree that’s colorful all year round. We had it planted a few years ago for a direct view from the bay window in our master bedroom so if I ever decide to be a slug and hang out in bed all day at least I’ll have something nice to look at. (In case you’re interested, north Texas lawns usually turn green by mid-April.)

Thank you for reading this.