Sunday, October 25, 2015

Jeb Bush is uninspired, rude, deflated and demented with a shitload of entitled privilege.

Happy Sunday morning to you and yours from the crew at Howdygram headquarters! Sam is driving around town doing errands and I’m holding down the proverbial fort with a can of Diet Sunkist. As soon as my latest round of pain meds kick in I’m planning on a nice hot shower to try to rinse off yesterday’s Miserable Day of Illness and Agony during which my Shit-O-Meter reading hit the number 10 mark more than once. My complaints included: 1) severe joint pain due to heavy thunderstorms and an approaching cold front; 2) a low-grade fever; 3) a rash; 4) gas pains; 5) a headache; 6) nausea; and 7) I can’t think of anything else. Plus Sam dropped a wad of brown gravy on the family room carpet. My day was hell.

It looks like Jeb Bush’s presidential campaign is in the throes of death. After downsizing his staff and asking paid employees wouldn’t they rather be unpaid volunteers, Bush threw a tantrum about partisan gridlock and Republican infighting — TELL DONALD TRUMP TO STOP PICKING ON ME! — yesterday in South Carolina.

“If this election is about how we’re going to fight to get nothing done, then I don’t want anything, I don’t want any part of it. I don’t want to be elected president to sit around and see gridlock just become so dominant that people literally are in decline in their lives. That is not my motivation. I’ve got a lot of really cool things I could do other than sit around, being miserable, listening to people demonize me and feeling compelled to demonize them. That is a joke. Elect Trump if you want that.”
Obviously this is mostly a reaction to Trump’s latest attacks on George Dubya’s presidential failures after 9/11, which Trump has demonized Jeb for justifying and supporting. Even though Trump picks on all of his Republican opponents, he really has a hard-on for Bush. And it has definitely hurt Bush’s campaign. Once seen as an obvious front-runner, he’s been falling in the polls ever since Trump announced his campaign. And he’s struggled to convey the message that “his” plans — which closely follow Dubya’s policies — would be good for America when his brother’s clearly were NOT. Jeb entered this race with huge hurdles to overcome while also trying to overshadow an obnoxious reality TV blowhard who treats the presidential race like “Let’s Make A Deal.”
When Bush was asked by MSNBC to discuss downsizing his campaign, he replied: “Blah blah blah blah, that’s my answer, blah blah blah.”

Great idea, Jeb. FLIP OFF THE PRESS. Which is why there’s no marketable future with this clown as the GOP nominee. Somebody is letting him talk like this to reporters ... uninspired, rude, deflated and demented with a shitload of entitled privilege. He’s Mitt Romney with a poisonous last name.

So then, what’s Jeb’s new winning message? You don’t want me? Well, FUCK YOU, America. You’re not my type, anyway. I never wanted to be president of a bunch of do-nothings who demonize people and do gridlock! (Wake up, Jeb. That’s all the GOP knows how to do!) Bottom line: Establishment Republicans refuse to face reality. This is what you’ve built: Donald Trump and Ben Carson. Welcome to the new GOP. Try not to let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. (Adios.)

We just lost another one, people. The Howdygram is grieved to announce that legendary and adorable actress Maureen O’Hara died Saturday of natural causes because she was 95 years old and you don’t need another reason. O’Hara passed away at home in Boise, Idaho, surrounded by her family playing the sound track to The Quiet Man. (Come to think of it, I wouldn’t mind dying to that sound track, either.)
Maureen came to Hollywood in 1939 and starred as Esmeralda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame, which was followed by dozens of hit movies with practically every leading man on the planet, including (ready for this?) Tyrone Power, John Wayne, Walter Pidgeon, Randolph Scott, John Payne, Henry Fonda, Errol Flynn, George Sanders, Brian Keith, Jimmy Stewart, John Garfield, Joel McCrea, Paul Henreid, Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., Cornel Wilde, Rex Harrison, Robert Young, Clifton Webb, Melvyn Douglas, Ray Milland, Jeff Chandler, Anthony Quinn, Alec Guinness, Fred MacMurray ... AND SANTA CLAUS!

I’ll let you know when TCM schedules its Maureen O’Hara tribute. They’ve got a million terrific movies to choose from.

Thought you might be interested in this map showing all the Howdygram’s visitors on Saturday, October 24. A few of the more exotic locations include Pakistan, Jordan, Tasmania, Indonesia, Bulgaria, India, South Korea, Saudi Arabia and Cleveland.
And now it’s time for a leftover Five Guys hot dog, a couple of sugar-free cookies and Shadow of the Thin Man (1941) starring William Powell and Myrna Loy. I love Sunday nights and thank you for reading this.

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