Campbell’s Bean with Bacon soup is one of the major joys of life. Try it.

Hello from the bowels of Howdygram headquarters, where I’ve been sick for TWO WHOLE DAYS with a raging fever. Mostly I’ve been drifting between the bathroom, bed, my desk in the study and the chaise in the family room ... whining, bitching, moaning, shivering and being altogether NOT VERY HAPPY. I don’t have an appetite but it’s almost 7:30 p.m. and I’m thinking I’d better rehydrate a Mountain House freeze-dried entree for senior citizens just to keep my blood sugar stable.

Sam is working insane hours today and won’t be home until sometime after 4 a.m. I hate this, people. Obviously I’m trying not to get myself in a situation where I need his help because he won’t be here to help me until sun-up. I’ve decided to amuse myself in the meantime ordering family-size cans of Campbell’s soup from Wal-Mart. The two varieties pictured below are my favorites — not counting homemade — and they’re incredibly tasty, very cheap and cure all kinds of diseases. Incidentally, if you’ve never tried Campbell’s Bean with Bacon you’re missing one of the major joys of life. Try it!

Tonight after dinner I’ve got some serious TV-watching to do, which includes today’s episode of “People’s Court,” part one of the “Project Runway” finale on Lifetime, Please Don’t Eat the Daisies (1960) starring David Niven and Doris Day and King of the Khyber Rifles (1953) starring Tyrone Power.

In case you give a crap, the “Project Runway” season 14 finale will be very big hoo-hah. First, I think this is the first time ALL THREE FINALISTS ARE WOMEN, and second, finalist Ashley Nell Tipton plans to show a PLUS-SIZE COLLECTION at the New York Fashion Week competition. Holy crap, right?

Thank you for stopping by tonight. Say hi to the family for me, okay?