Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Happy Birthday Queen Elizabeth.

Holy crap, guys ... I completely forgot to announce a very important birthday today in case you’re looking for a reason to eat cake! The Howdygram would like to send its very best wishes to Queen Elizabeth — the number one royal of them all — who’s celebrating her 89th birthday. I’ll bet she and Prince Phil ordered a few caviar pizzas tonight for the kids and grandchildren. (Tiaras optional.)
And while I’m on the subject, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have discontinued all public appearances while they wait for the birth of their second child, who’s due to pop out RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
I think we owe it to them as a sign of respect to suggest potential baby names in case they’re still undecided and arguing with the in-laws. Therefore I would like to volunteer all of the following excellent baby names at no charge. Can you think of any?

Tweedy Gumbo
Lola Humbleburger
Nelson Nippletonian
Beauregard Royalton IV
Windsor Buttblossom
Cute Richkid von Wardrobe
Wallis Warfield Dingleberry
Sir Jesus

Great news! Our kitchen cabinet project is finally lurching forward as I write this post. I negotatiated a couple of nice discounts this afternoon, and now Eric is putting together a contract for us to sign and return with a 50% deposit so he can start ordering materials. I also picked out our cabinet hardware, which was a tedious decision after browsing 48 fucking pages of door handles on a website link that Eric sent me. After two and half hours, here’s what I picked. It’s a matte black finish and measures 6½ inches long. They’re GORGEOUS, and they’ll look terrific with the licorice-color glaze on the cabinet doors.

It’s 8:30 p.m. and probably a perfect time to put my feet up and watch a movie. Try to keep the noise down, okay?

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