Wednesday, January 14, 2015

I hate Randy Weber and I hate his stupid ass-face.

Tuesday was an odd yet mostly uneventful day here at Howdygram headquarters. Sam had a doctor appointment first thing in the morning — during which he was diagnosed with the final throes of a mysterious flu-ish virus and a rather severe case of stress — followed by a quick trip to our local Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market for a short list of urgent provisions that included two prescriptions for yours truly, English muffins, sugar-free Jell-O cups in our favorite fruity flavors and teeny bottles of Coke Zero for my mini-fridge in the study. I also wanted braunschweiger but they didn’t have any. I am, as expected, fucking despondent.

As a brief additional update to Sam’s condition, he’ll be home from work for the balance of the week as he tries to get back on his feet. Literally. Since he got home from California on Sunday he’s been unable to stand for more than two or three minutes at a time (holy shit, just like me!), sleeps almost round the clock and has so much pain in his stomach that he doesn’t want to eat. He’s also still juggling a low-grade fever and an intermittent cough that sounds like a walrus. I spend most of the day tucking him in and kissing his head. Feel free to come back often for additional developments, okay?

And now for some breaking news from our Guess Who’s Getting Another Fantastic Box of Crap from Amazon department! My January Subscribe & Save order is shipping soon and will include all of the following products: 1) a twin-pack of Dove deodorant for yours truly; 2) three bottles of SweetLeaf berry drops; 3) two bottles of Nature’s Gate nice-smelling liquid hand soap with REAL GODDAMN OATMEAL in it; and 4) Keystone’s cheap and tasty canned meat for senior citizens. For the record, I use the ground beef in my favorite fast soup recipe and the beef chunks for pretend pot roast with McCormick instant gravy and dill pickles.

Another day, another asshole Republican from Texas. Meet Congressman Randy Weber, who did some deep thinking about President Obama this week for refusing defiantly (in Weber’s mind) to attend the rally of international free speech heroes in Paris on Sunday. After all that deep and profound thinking, Weber posted the result to his Twitter account and won’t take it down even though the statement makes no sense, the historical perspective borders on insanity and the stupid shitbag can’t even Google how to spell ADOLF.
Weber, of course, counts himself among the many right-wing conspiracy theorists who believe that our president is a Muslim Communist from Kenya, so obviously Obama refused to go to Paris to stand in solidarity against terrorism BECAUSE HE’S ACTUALLY A TERRORIST. If you ask, they will gladly prove this beyond a shadow of a doubt based on Obama’s anti-American Affordable Care Act, healthy school lunch program and Benghazi.

I hate Randy Weber and I hate his stupid ass-face.

I think I’ll go to bed now. I’m freezing and Sam is warm.

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