It’s sixteen fucking degrees outside.

Let’s talk Thursday, shall we? It’s 8 a.m. here at Howdygram headquarters and the temperature outside is SIXTEEN FUCKING DEGREES. It’s so cold I wouldn’t even open the front door if somebody delivered Chinese food! And although that might be a massive exaggeration, to keep it all in perspective I’d like to share this photo of Chicago, where it’s substantially below zero this morning and THE WAVES ON LAKE MICHIGAN ARE FROZEN SOLID. Holy crap.

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Incidentally, light snow is no longer in the forecast here for tomorrow. It’s gone. Finito. Done. Blammo. Sayonara. Instead we’re just expecting ordinary cold January weather with a 90% chance of rain all day Sunday ... just in time to welcome Sam home from California. (Oh swell.) His flight gets in at 4:03 p.m.

Just for the record, I’M OFFICIALLY FREEZING even though I’m already wearing the warmest robe I own plus the nice memory foam FootSmart slippers pictured here. It’s possible that eating breakfast might warm me up so I’m pondering Oscar Mayer pickle & pimiento loaf on low-carb pumpernickel to tide me over until lunch, at which time my goal is a huge steaming pot of bean soup with the final slab of the World’s Largest Meatloaf. It’s a full life, isn’t it?

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As long as I’m discussing food ... at 4:15 this morning I placed another order with Artizone, the local geniuses who bring ritzy farmer’s market food directly into your kitchen AND THEY EVEN UNLOAD THE BAGS WITHOUT ASKING! They’re delivering Saturday morning between 10 and noon, bringing all kinds of fantastic gourmet food things so I can feed Sam when he comes home. Saturday’s delivery includes four gorgeous stuffed baked potatoes, another tub of stuffed bell peppers with red sauce because I’ve already eaten the ones they delivered on Monday, and a braised brisket pot pie with mushrooms, real gravy and poblano peppers.

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And now I think I’ll sit here reading shitty news online and wait for Sam’s good morning Face Time call from California. I might even go back to bed afterwards!