This is why God invented wheelchairs.

It’s 5 a.m. and I’m wide awake. This doesn’t exactly piss me off, however, because I enjoyed three seriously intense naps on Tuesday, the last one ending at sometime after midnight while Sam and I watched Roman Holiday (1953) starring Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck. I guess there’s only one real downside to being awake right now: I can’t go back to bed if I get tired because I’ve got an appointment with Dr. M at 8:45. Also I’m having a hypoglycemic episode. (It’s always something, isn’t it?)

Know what? I’m trying something new for today’s doctor visit. I’VE DECIDED TO USE MY WHEELCHAIR due to the clinic being too damn big. I can barely make it from the reception area to Dr. M’s exam room, and it’s an even longer walk from the exam room to the lab. I’M USUALLY IN TEARS BY THE TIME I GET THERE. After my last appointment the phlebotomist apparently forgot to draw an extra tube of blood and chased me to the front door to ask me to come back, but by then my legs hurt so bad I told her no, I can’t walk another step and I can’t even turn around to talk to you. Holy crap, right?

THIS IS WHY GOD INVENTED WHEELCHAIRS.

I’ll be back later. Right now I have to eat a few Tic Tacs.