The current temperature is 38°, and little Texans just ain’t used to this.

It’s Halloween, 8:15 p.m., and there have been zero trick-or-treaters today. Nada. NONE WHATSOEVER. And not only hasn’t anyone been ringing our doorbell, there aren’t even any children outside! I think part of the problem could be the weather, though, because it’s awfully cold right now in the Dallas metro area. The current temperature is 38°, and little Texans just ain’t used to this. (Big Texans aren’t really too thrilled with it, either.)

In case you give a crap, the following forecast from Weather.com gives you a rough idea how autumn is shaping up around here. It’s “normal” to see temperatures in the 50s and mid-60s this time of year with an overnight low in the mid-40s. We really shouldn’t be seeing temperatures in the 30s until January!

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FRIDAY, 9:45 P.M., 11/01/2019. Happy birthday to me, everybody. All of a sudden I’m 68 years old today. SIXTY-EIGHT YEARS OLD! When I celebrated my 67th last year I honestly didn’t know if I’d be around for another 12 months. I’m bedridden, still have “declines” in my health and serious medical issues, but surprise … I’m still here. Today’s birthday festivities included hot and sour soup for lunch, a couple of nice classic movies — Rear Window (1954) starring James Stewart and Grace Kelly, and The Public Defender (1931) starring Richard Dix — and a cheeseburger from Five Guys for dinner. With fries!

I only ate half the cheeseburger, but what the hell … at least I could taste it!

Know what? I can’t believe I forgot to post my favorite nostalgic Marks family Halloween portrait yesterday! Here are Sam, his older brother (Steve), their dad (Ben) and good ol’ Uncle Frank, taken in 1964 or thereabouts. Sam always reminds me that he was scared of Uncle Frank and wasn’t too happy about posing with him. Personally, however, I think Sam’s “brave face” was damn adorable.

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And now for another load of free fonts! I’ve got a little of everything for you tonight, from scripts (“Cold Brew”) to hand-drawn fonts (“Headson,” “Teacher Toes”), display fonts (“Tornado”), a traditional sans serif megafont with 60 styles (“Sarun”) and a pleasant little layered font (“The Buntro”). I know you’ll love them all as much as I do. Download links will appear below the font list in case you want a few (or all) of these for your personal collection.

Cold Brew • Headson • Antonellie • Teacher Toes • Sarun Family
The Buntro • Birthstone • Remires • Tornado

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For my final post entry tonight I’d like to review a new frozen product we bought this week from Wal-Mart … a bag of HOST & PLATTER MINI CHICKEN EMPANADAS. I hoped they would taste as good as they looked on the package but I was completely and sorely disappointed. THEY SUCKED. The empanada “shell” (the baked pastry part) was tasteless, dry and hard as a rock; the filling was just plain nasty. I took one bite and handed the plate to Sam. I don’t know if he tasted an empanada, ate any of them or just threw the entire bag in the garbage, but I was very unhappy with these unpleasant little shitbags and hope I’ll never see them again. (Incidentally, they don’t look like the picture on the package because there’s almost no filling inside.)

The Howdygram rightfully awards HOST & PLATTER MINI CHICKEN EMPANADAS with a one-chopper rating due to their overall shittiness and being generally inedible.

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It’s almost midnight, boys and girls, and I don’t feel very well. I’ve been dealing with a very low-grade (99°) fever most of the day, and that’s just enough to make me feel mildly crappy but not actually sick. I also feel hot, slightly clammy and moderately uncomfortable. Even my HAIR is annoying me tonight. I’m a goddamn mess.

Thank you for putting up with me.