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| Bush’s Country Style Baked Beans. Part of this complete breakfast. |
MONDAY, JULY 23, 2018, 10:34 A.M. Yes, dear readers, I JUST LOST AN ENTIRE DAY. I wasn’t unconscious, however, but rather consumed by other projects. These included: 1) sitting up at my computer workstation and eating things; 2) designing Marcy and Sam’s 2018 Hanukkah cards and ordering them from Zazzle.com; 3) answering two emails; 4) an unfortunate “catheter accident” that involved peeing all over the place (and myself, too) with a major clean-up in aisle seven by Sam. At that point I figured I’d had enough already and decided to eat a pair of Popsicles and go to bed. (A very good idea indeed.)
We’re also still seeing a lot of salmonella warnings for CUT MELON. The USDA is issuing a gigantic warning that 60 people in 23 states have been hospitalized from eating cut-up watermelon, honeydew and cantaloupe purchased at Wal-Mart, Kroger, Walgreens, Sprouts, Costco and Whole Foods. Oy, people! MELON! Federal officials also want you to dump out your boxes of KELLOGG’S HONEY SMACKS cereal due to a salmonella outbreak that’s sickened 100 people in 33 states. A major recall is in progress. Watermelon and children’s cereal? HOLY SHIT!
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| Salmonella warnings are still out for poisonous cut-up melon. Beware! |
Want an additional shocker? There’s another recall in progress … RITZ CRACKER SANDWICHES and RITZ BITS PRODUCTS that may contain whey powder that’s been recalled for salmonella contamination. Next, we also have McDONALD’S SALADS. McDonald’s has stopped selling its salads at 3,000 restaurants in 14 states to contain an outbreak of cyclospora. So far, 163 cases have been confirmed in 10 states since the beginnng of May.
And finally, please stay away from IMPORTED CRAB MEAT from Venezuela after 12 cases of vibrio parahaemolyticus have been reported in Maryland, Pennsylvania, Louisiana and the District of Columbia. (I vote that we serve it to the U.S. House of Representatives.)
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again … nobody ever got salmonella from Cheetos!
MONDAY, 10:32 P.M. It’s been quite a day for me … with an unexpected hoo-hah thrown in. For starters, I never expected a visit today from my hospice R.N., Stella ... and I certainly never expected Stella to announce that she wanted to CHANGE MY CATHETER while she was here. It was a double whammy, although I suppose it was a “plus” that I didn’t know in advance about the catheter-change. Nobody wants to spend a whole week anticipating something like that, right? Anyway, it only took a couple of minutes, and I survived just fine. The new catheter is lovely and coordinates beautifully with our family room furniture.
At the moment Sam is watching Zero Hour! (1957) starring Dana Andrews and Sterling Hayden, an intense drama about a former Korean War pilot being the only passenger left on a commercial Canadian airliner who hasn’t suffered food poisoning … and still has the skill to land the plane in dense fog. In case you haven’t recognized it by now, this is the plot used for 1980’s hilarious slapstick comedy Airplane! starring Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty and Lloyd Bridges. The original is PRICELESS.
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| “Zero Hour!” is the original plot for 1980’s “Airplane!” … and it’s almost word-for-word. |
Before Zero Hour! we were watching a screwy Joe E. Brown comedy from 1932 called You Said a Mouthful, which co-starred Ginger Rogers in one of her earlier film roles. For one of her earliest, here’s a shot from Queen High in 1930. (It almost doesn’t look like Ginger, does it?) Incidentally, I have no idea who her co-star is here. I guess I’m not a complete genius after all.
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| Ginger Rogers in “Queen High,” an early talkie from 1930. |
TODAY: NOTHING. WEDNESDAY: A BATH. THURSDAY: NOTHING. FRIDAY: ANOTHER BATH. SATURDAY: NOTHING.
I certainly hope you weren’t expecting anything fantastic here, because I’m just a housebound old coot who’s confined to bed with Popsicles and a laptop. Thank you for your attention.
So … here are a few other mindless ramblings tonight, although I suppose I can’t offer any political commentary these days because I’m still steering away from the HORSESHIT IN WASHINGTON, D.C. while everybody waits for Robert Mueller to take his gigantic dump on our illegitimate president. (Frankly, my stomach hasn’t got the “fortitude” for this, either.) In the meantime, therefore, I’ll just remain COMFORTABLE AT HOME with my favorite endeavors: our collection of classic movies; emails from friends and relatives; designing lots of greeting cards for The Howdygram Store; eating my favorite foods; writing the Howdygram; and sleeping. But not necessarily in that order.
My actual plans for Tuesday (today, actually, since the clock is well past midnight now) will fit nicely into that “NOTHING” comment at the beginning of this section and includes GETTING UP OFF THE CHAISE LOUNGE — which is now a major effort, believe me — to sit at my computer workstation for several hours. Just between us, it’s becoming harder and harder to get up, boys and girls … and Sam and I celebrate the days that I can manage it. I didn’t even try on Monday, mostly because I was rattled by the unexpected catheter change hoo-hah and didn’t feel too much like straining myself afterwards. Today, however, I’m determined to do it ... even if I need a little “shove” from Sam at the end to make it happen. God bless Sam! He’s always willing to do whatever it takes to help me. Later today I also have to RE-DO THE DRUGS IN MY PILL SORTERS because I discovered that Stella (my hospice R.N.) left Allopurinol out of my afternoon meds and Coumadin out of my bedtime meds when she filled them a few days ago. That’s why I always double-check! Sam and I also want to watch a YouTube MUSIC VIDEO OF MY COUSIN MARTY DAVICH IN LOS ANGELES performing his latest album (recorded on Saturday night) … with a guest appearance by his son, Jacob. It’s about 90 minutes in length, so I’ll probably have to tune in from my big iMac computer, which has much better sound and a much bigger screen. And I’ll also probably email the video link to Sam so he can watch at his convenience. You know, with headphones. Oy, what a family.
And now, at last, I think I’ll shut down my MacBook and watch a little TV until I fall asleep. My “sleeping movie” of choice tonight will be Giant (1956) starring Elizabeth Taylor, Rock Hudson and James Dean. (I don’t know why James Dean was such as big hoo-hah. I thought he was awful, to tell you the truth.) Thank you for reading this, thank you for doing your damndest to remember the Alamo ... and let’s order egg foo young for dinner if Sam isn’t paying attention.
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