But there’s more to the story today. After Letititia left, Sam and I had a long, heart-wrenching conversation about “what’s next” for me [check out the last section of my previous post that begins: “Can we discuss depression for a minute?”] and decided it might be time to request more pain meds, because what I’m taking now — 30mg extended release Morphine twice a day and 10mg Norco PRN — obviously isn’t doing enough any more. So Sam texted Bea, and within minutes Bea said she’d process a request for liquid Morphine PRN … a much stronger dose of Morphine that I can take whenever I want ... “as needed.” I’m so excited I could cry. More Morphine! MORE MORPHINE!
I’ll probably have my liquid Morphine later on today because the hospice pharmacy always delivers pain meds on a hyper-speedy emergency basis. Therefore I’ll let you know when it gets here, and I promise to “live blog” my first dose so you can see first-hand how fucked-up I get.
Anyway, today I ordered one can of Campbell’s Brown Gravy with Legitimate Onions, two beautiful jars of Manischewitz Borscht with Diced Beets (which is so much better than the kind with shredded beets), two jars of Manischewitz Matzo Balls and — last but not least — a four-pack of Spaghetti Os. Yep … Spaghetti Os! (These are excellent because I need to eat lying down sometimes, and Os are less sloppy than normal noodles.)
I remember mom telling a story about how we got separated one day at Marshall Field’s, and I wound up sitting on a bar stool in the Women’s Gloves department asking if they could find my “lost mother.” So someone used the P.A. system to tell my lost mother where to find a missing three-year-old girl named Marcy in a navy blue dress. Apparently I wasn’t worried at all, and I wasn’t even crying. When she got to the Women’s Gloves department I was eating marshmallows!
In the meantime, however — until my Green River pop shows up this afternoon — I just asked Sam to nuke a BIG BEAUTIFUL BEEFY FEAST for me! This would include two frozen (fully-cooked) Angus grilled hamburger patties from Costco, a nice can of brown gravy and a jar of sliced Green Giant mushrooms. We always have a well-stocked pantry here, including gravy (several kinds), mushrooms, pickled beets, sliced carrots, Read’s Three-Bean Salad, Read’s German Potato Salad, Chef Boyardee Ravioli and so on. A person will never starve to death here.
I ALSO NEVER GOT MY LIQUID MORPHINE DELIVERY. I’m not giving up on the Morphine yet, however, because we’ve had hospice pharmacy deliveries show up as late as midnight sometimes. Especially pain meds. They’re really good about delivering pain meds. They pound on the door even when its pitch black and we forget to turn on the outside light!
OY, I’M STARVING. It’s 10:35 p.m., and I think I’ll probably have to wake Sam if I ever expect to get some food around here. When you can’t stand up, you can’t walk and you can’t cook, what’s a girl supposed to do? My options include: 1) a can of Nalley Beef Stew; 2) a can of Dinty Moore Chicken and Dumplings; and 3) a jar of Del Monte Pickled Beets with a large wad of sour cream on top. Believe it or not, I’m actually leaning towards #3. I love pickled beets!
I’M WATCHING AN ADORABLE MOVIE RIGHT NOW. Have you ever seen You Belong to Me (1941) starring Henry Fonda and Barbara Stanwyck? Seriously … I’ve never seen this one before! It’s a comedy. She’s a doctor on vacation at a winter resort, he’s a patient who took a bad tumble on a ski slope, but he’s pretending to be in worse shape than he really is, because, you know, he’s HOT for her! Woo-hoo!
Thank you for reading this, and please throw a passing glance at the Alamo if you have a free minute, okay? I’ll be the old lady here in Mesquite with a large mug of pickled beets balanced on my stomach!
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