The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have a teeny new prince!

There’s big news bubbling forth today from Buckingham Palace … the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have a teeny new PRINCE! The royal bundle of adorableness, who’s fifth in line to the throne, weighed in at 8 pounds 7 ounces. However, since the Duke and Duchess probably don’t need any bibs, onesies or crib toys, please feel free to send your cash-only gifts directly to the Howdygram and we’ll forward them on to England at our convenience. Click here to request our mailing address. Thank you.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge with Prince George and Princess Charlotte. 

Time for a few more Yiddish vocabulary words! A shnoz is a big nose. A shvartze refers to a black person or an African-American. To shvitz means to sweat. Shabbos is the Sabbath. A shamus is a private detective. A shegetz is a young non-Jewish male. A shemozzle is a quarrel or a brawl. Shickered means drunk. A shikse is a young, non-Jewish female. A shlemiel is a clumsy, inept person. A shmendrik is a jerk or a fool.

I’m feeling DRUGGED right now. I took my usual pain meds (Norco, 20mg) a couple of hours ago with the rest of my morning prescriptions, but today for some reason they’re making me feel limp, loopier than usual and totally spaced-out. This isn’t a complaint, per se, just a reality check. (Know what? Limp, loopy and spacy are fucking fabulous.)

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Big day tomorrow … I finally get to meet my primary care physician from Baylor HouseCalls! Dr. Thompson makes the rounds to see her housebound geriatric patients at least once a year; my monthly appointments are always with her nurse practitioner, Antonia, who’s a real peach.

I’ve been signed up for Baylor’s geriatric HouseCalls program since last summer and receive all of my medical care every 30 days right here at home from the comfort of my favorite chair in the family room … I’m talking about regular checkups, blood work, labs, you name it. Dr. Thompson will be here tomorrow between 9 a.m. and 1 p.m., and Sam and I are excited to meet her. Please stay tuned to this channel for further developments but don’t forget to floss.

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It’s 9:45 p.m., Sam is conked out on the sofa and I’m watching Summer Stock (1950) starring Judy Garland and Gene Kelly. When it’s over (about half an hour from now) I want to switch gears a little and watch The Invisible Man (1933) starring Claude Rains and Gloria Stuart, which is one of my favorite horror movies. I especially love screechy little Una O’Connor as the innkeeper. She’s INCREDIBLE in that part and has a voice like fingernails on a blackboard.

Gene Kelly and Judy Garland in “Summer Stock.”

Screechy little Una O’Connor.

And now … bedtime for Bonzo! Thank you for reading this and please tell your friends to do their level best to remember the Alamo. Especially on Mondays.