Thursday, October 1, 2015

Note to Wayne LaPierre: There’s blood on your hands again, asshole!

Remember in my last post when I ruminated about maybe feeling better later in the day after consuming a large volume of my favorite prescription painkiller? It didn’t happen, people. I’ve had enough continuous doses of Norco since 7 a.m. Wednesday to sink a battleship ... BUT I STILL FEEL LIKE SHIT. Fortunately, my maid dropped in around 1 p.m. to make sure I’m still alive here and brought a bag of McDonald’s; I may feel lousy but at least I’m eating well. In case you’re interested, as much as I love them I honestly didn’t think I could face another day of those Mountain House freeze-dried entrees for senior citizens.

SAM IS COMING HOME TOMORROW! In the meantime, however, he’s definitely enjoying his week in California with a Mustang convertible, and to prove it I’m pleased to post the following photo of Sam taken last night at Dos Arbolitos Restaurant with his Aunt Adie. I think they look FANTASTIC. Also extremely attractive. (Nobody mentioned what they ate for dinner but I’ll bet it was good.)
For the record, I’ve had to sacrifice a LOT for Sam’s trip. Not only did I agree to dine in the study with two dozen bags of freeze-dried entrees for senior citizens, an electric tea kettle, plastic spoons and a roll of paper towels, I also had to give up INTERNET SHOPPING this week because I’m actually far too handicapped to retrieve deliveries from the front doorstep and I can’t stand, balance or walk without my cane. I can do very, very little one-handed. Old age really stinks.

But today, at last, I can resume Internet shopping as Sam will be home tomorrow and packages will not pile up outside the front door. Therefore I just ordered nice peppermint breath drops from Amazon and a package of hard plastic fake crystal Chinet cups from Wal-Mart. Total spent: $8.15. WITH FREE SHIPPING. Oh boy, right?

Just curious ... did you stop by the Howdygram this afternoon to find out about the current status of my overall health? If you did, no kidding, I’m deeply touched by your concern. It’s presently 4:03 p.m. and, in a word, I’m feeling NOT TOO LOUSY right now (okay, you caught me ... three words) except that my eyes are watering, the back of my left thigh hurts like fuck and I regret eating a bag of freeze-dried Mountain House Beef Stroganoff for breakfast because I actually wanted the Biscuits & Gravy but couldn’t reach them. (Sam stuffed several bags in one of my file drawers). 
So ... in case you’re wondering where this puts me on the Shit-O-Meter, see for yourself:
And there’s one additional annoyance that has nothing whatsoever to do with my physical condition: I think it’s time to replace the batteries in the remote because I’ve been trying to turn off the goddamn TV for half an hour.

Holy mother of crap. I just looked at the news after a 5½-hour nap and discovered THERE’S BEEN ANOTHER GODDAMN SCHOOL SHOOTING. This time at a community college in Oregon, 13 were killed and 20 injured by a mental case twentysomething — also dead, so at least there’s one small bright spot — who thought the world owed him a better life.

Frankly, people, the United States has become a breeding ground for “entitled losers” — i.e., remember Elliot Rodger, the moron with a 50-page manifesto who murdered hot sorority girls in Santa Barbara in May 2014 because he couldn’t get laid? — who think they have the right to blame everybody around them for their own personal failings and feel justified in settling the score. A whole lot of these losers are armed and dangerous, and it doesn’t help that our gun culture gives these all of them a sense of empowerment and the tools to destroy lives. Seriously, I felt so much safer on campus when I was young, back in the late 1960s, before all these “good guys” had guns and we were all too busy protesting the war in Viet Nam and picketing for abortion rights. We had a different world view then. It wasn’t all about “me me me.”

So if you’re really that goddamn miserable, whatever happened to just committing suicide?!

A couple more thoughts.

First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO PRESIDENT JIMMY CARTER. He is 91 today, bless his heart.
Second, it looks like there’s A BIG WEATHER HOO-HAH heading for the east coast this weekend! Hurricane Joaquin is a category 4 as it leaves the Bahamas this afternoon, but the highly-paid storm Einsteins at still don’t know if it will make landfall in the United States or just dump a shitload of rain on everybody, such as up to 18 inches in South Carolina. Pay attention if you live on the east coast and make sure you have an adequate supply of Chef Boyardee mini ravioli in the house.

Thank you for reading this.

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