Saturday, October 31, 2015

Fuck Halloween.

Good morning, how’s the family and “boo” from Howdygram headquarters. It’s Saturday, October 31 — Halloween — my least favorite day of the year because this is such a goddamn stupid holiday whenever it involves anybody over the age of 11. Yesterday, for instance, Sam went to the dentist to have a molar extracted and the dentist and all of his office staff WERE WEARING HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. He said Dr. Villarreal, who’s about 27 years old, was dressed as one of the Mario Brothers. And as Sam was leaving the receptionist actually asked him what he was “going as” for Halloween.

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people? Would YOU want an asshole dressed as a video game character drilling your teeth? And why in hell would a 56-year-old man “go as” ANYTHING for Halloween?!

HALLOWEEN IS A HOLIDAY FOR KIDS. And if you ring the bell at Howdygram headquarters tonight we’re NOT answering the goddamn door unless you’re delivering Chinese food. This is the best I can do ... it’s my annual reprint of Sam with his brother, father and Uncle Frank at a wax museum in San Diego. Sam is so damn cute I could spread him on a bagel.

We had a fuckton of rain here yesterday that continued to roll through until the wee hours this morning. Heavy rain, with thunder and lightning and rivers of water pouring down the middle of Bonnywood Drive that looked more like the Colorado River rapids. All told I believe the total was about 3½ inches, and when you add it to the 9¼ inches from last week we’ve had more than a foot of rain in October. THAT’S A LOT OF RAIN. The drought is finally kaput for us here in Texas and we’re settling into a solid pattern of regular rainfall every few days, which is very normal, very nice and really wet. Our next big chances for rain are highlighted on the following graphic by attractive little red dotted boxes created by yours truly.

We’re hysterically sad to announce the death of character actor Al Molinaro, 96, who passed away yesterday at Verdugo Hills Hospital in Glendale, California.

Born in Kenosha, Wisconsin, Molinaro was already middle-aged when a comedy improv class led him to his first breakthrough role on television as police officer Murray Greshler on “The Odd Couple,” which ran from 1970 to 1975. The following year Garry Marshall cast Molinaro as malt shop owner Al Delvecchio in 146 episodes of “Happy Days.” After appearing on a number of other series — “Joani Loves Chachi,” “Punky Brewster,” “The Family Man” — Molarino retired in 1992. He was mostly famous for his nose.

Thank you for reading this. Really.

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