Thursday, July 31, 2014

You can subscribe to Sarah Palin’s new internet channel for only $99.95 a year. Shouldn’t bullshit be free?

I didn’t write a Howdygram post yesterday, and to explain my unexpected absence I’d like to offer three excellent excuses as to WHY: 1) I didn’t really feel like it; 2) I increased my regular afternoon nap by two hours; and 3) I can’t think of anything else. I realize these are lame reasons but you’ll probably get over it.

Show of hands. Have you heard about Sarah Palin’s new internet channel? This week the North Woods Mooselini finally decided she’s fed up with the general public and “lamestream media” exposing her stupidity so she set up her own online TV channel — — to say any crap she wants without being censored by TRUTH or actual FACTS, and it only costs $99.95 a year to subscribe. (Shouldn’t bullshit be free?) Fortunately, a couple of days ago my hero Stephen Colbert purchased the lookalike domain (see below) and brilliantly linked it to his favorite satirical Sarah Palin sketches on Comedy Central.
My favorite classic Colbert routine has to be Paul Revere’s Famous Ride, where he lampoons Blunderwoman’s butchered version of American history from an interview she gave after she and John McCain lost (THANK GOD) the 2008 presidential campaign. Sam and I watched this video yesterday (on Colbert’s new Sarah Palin website ... where else?) and laughed so hard we practically choked to death. Please promise me you will NOT eat Lay’s jalapeño kettle chips while you watch this. Enjoy!

In other news I’m pleased to announce that we’re resurrecting the Howdygram’s popular Hat of the Day feature in the right sidebar! Rita’s Couture in south Dallas just expanded their collection of fancy-schmancy headwear — including a number of elegant styles that look like bedazzled butt plugs — and I’ll post all 83 of them for you (one at a time) for your possible interest. Thank you and have a really pleasant day.

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