Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Tide Pods are mankind’s single greatest invention of the 21st century (so far).

Today’s secret word, boys and girls, is LAUNDRY, and while I’m barely functioning on three hours of sleep and feeling slightly inebriated, hypoglycemic and oddly confused, I will continue typing and laundering until my forehead hits the desk or I run out of socks and underwear. I’m guessing this will be around 4:17 p.m. (Hey. At least my feet don’t hurt.)

Incidentally, I am convinced that mankind’s single greatest invention of the 21st century so far is TIDE PODS, those precious little squishy pillows of condensed detergent that make it possible for whiny senior citizens like yours truly with spastic fingers and nerve damage in their hands to do laundry without lifting and pouring liquid from a gigantic bottle. (You don’t know how hard this is until you can’t do it. I’m just saying.)

And now, because I just figured out that I’m simultaneously really hungry and desperate for entertainment, I think I’ll multitask by including food and movies on my list of productive Tuesday activities. I refer specifically to braunschweiger on low-carb white toast and Broadway Melody of 1938 starring Eleanor Powell and Robert Taylor. I love my life.

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