Wednesday, June 11, 2014

If you want to feel better about your life just watch an episode of “People’s Court.”

People, I just figured out the secret of the universe. If you want to feel better about your life JUST WATCH AN EPISODE OF “PEOPLE’S COURT.” After 60 minutes of this annoying angst you’ll swear you’re Princess Grace of Monaco.

Today’s episode of “People’s Court” featured:
  1. A mother suing her daughter for repayment of a $2,500 loan to the girl’s estranged father because why the hell not, I don’t have a good relationship with him so I’ll just sue my child instead.
  2. A jerk suing a man for $5,000 because a tire fell off the man’s car in traffic and bounced into the median where the aforementioned jerk was walking home from the supermarket, and rather than dodge the bouncing tire the jerk kicked it out of the way and sprained his ankle, thereby concluding that somebody should pay him a lot of dough for pain and suffering even though a visit to the emergency room four days later showed no fracture, no swelling, no injury and no bruises.
  3. A hipster who rented a room in Brooklyn decided to sublet to somebody else on move-in day without telling the landlord, and when the landlord said ABSOLUTELY NOT he decided to sue for every dime of the broker’s fee, deposit and first month’s rent.
Other typical cases include dogs attacking dogs, dogs attacking people, fighting neighbors, friends who steal iPhones/jewelry/flat-screen TVs/pets/shoes/significant others, cars backing into other cars in parking lots, guests who take home too many leftovers from a wedding reception, shitty alterations and dry cleaning, used cars that fall apart, unpaid loans, unpaid security deposit refunds, hair weaves gone bad, ruined vacations, miscellaneous rip-offs, Craig’s List fiascos, children throwing rocks, stolen bicycles, dysfunctional families, towing nightmares, lousy wedding photography, limo service failures, Facebook feuds and contractors from hell who ruin your house.
Sam just got home from work so I think I’ll hang out with him now. Thank you for your support.


Susan said...

Nice blog! You're funny. I can't believe I like something from Texas besides Molly Ivins and King of the Hill.
I like Raw Story, Bradblog, crooksandliars, wonkette etc but I need a break.
Must. Stop. Reading. News.
Back to ocean wave sounds on youtube but hey keep up the good work.
Had to read some because yes, watching Eric go down in flames was so delicious.

Come back to California, why are you there? Did you lose a bet? Get a free house?
I kid.
if I left this twice it's because I have no idea what I'm doing.

Marcy Marks said...

Hello Susan, and thank you for your comments about the Howdygram! We follow a lot of the same blogs, you and I. Kindred souls. And I loved Molly Ivins and “King of the Hill,” too. I don’t think anybody ever realized how dead-on accurate “King of the Hill” was except Texans.

Propane and propane accessories. And Dale’s guns and and conspiracy theories.

We moved from L.A. to Texas in 2007 because this is where we wanted to spend our golden years. Affordable homes, no traffic, lower cost of living. My husband’s company transferred him here; I retired from my own graphic design business in 2013. Now my days are filled with the Howdygram, canned Hormel tamales and afternoon naps. I love my life!

Where are you in California? Let’s be pen pals.

Susan said...


Good to hear from you. Sounds like you're living the dream! I'm starting a new chapter, hey, 50 is the new 30, right? RIGHT???
So I'm about 30 miles north of San Francisco, otherwise knows as "Russia-lite" and across from the People's Republic of Berkeley.
I'm a 12 year Navy vet and trying to get a boring job somewhere, I just graduated from a landscaping/water conservation program and hope to gain employment. Do you know that now there is box to check if you're over 40? Like a protected class. I'll check that box!
I'm actually looking to move a little south, I lived in San Diego for a long time and miss the water. I'm applying in the Monterey and Santa Cruz area.
I think I'll watch a few episodes of King of the Hill, that's kind of my weird comfort zone.
Nice talking with you and hope to hear from you soon.
I like your blog, but I have really made a conscious effort to stay off of news sites. GIGO, right? Seriously, I just went to check the local temperature and there were like twelve murder stories I needed to try to not see. Humor is good.
Later tater!