I just realized that I smell like green olives.

Hey boys and girls, here’s the primary rule of Marcy’s Law! If something breaks and you order a replacement, the broken thing always starts working again ONLY after you’ve spent $59.99 plus tax online and Fry’s already shipped your fancy new 500GB Western Digital My Passport backup hard drive. This actually happened last night.

It won’t be a big inconvenience if I decide to return it, however, because Sam gets a kick out of Fry’s retail store in Garland, which is pictured below for your possible interest. It’s got real Texas atmosphere with a fake cattle drive on the mezzanine, wild west checkout lanes and employees who ask if “y’all need any help.” It doesn’t take much to excite us.

The following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) Fry’s on Northwest Highway next door to Sam’s Club; and C) the Chinese buffet at Tripp and Galloway where Sam is STILL refusing to take me due to an unnatural fear of ptomaine. He can be such a wuss about food poisoning sometimes.

Know what? I just realized that I smell like GREEN OLIVES ... but there’s a really good reason for that. I spilled green olive juice all over myself this afternoon when I was sitting on the couch eating out of the jar with a fork. Lucky for me I really love green olives but maybe I should change my robe before Sam gets home.

In other news, it’s almost 9 p.m. and I haven’t eaten dinner yet! For the sake of expedience I think I’ll just throw together a nice big bowl of egg salad with ready-to-eat Costco hard-boiled eggs and the fabulous $6.95 pastry blender kitchen gadget I bought from Amazon a couple of months ago that brings joy to the life of semi-disabled senior citizens such as yours truly who love to eat but hate washing a food processor.

No kidding, everybody, this is the easiest way ever invented to demolish a large quantity hard-boiled eggs in less than a minute. You can even throw in a can of tuna fish.

Thank you for reading this.