Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Homophobic Christians think President Obama wants to put them in FEMA concentration camps.

They came, they saw, they fixed our shower! Yes, friends, it’s true: Tim, leader of the glass people, spent three hours today removing, resealing and rehanging the shower door in our master bathroom. He says it’s so damn perfect he’d like to marry it. All that’s left now are some cosmetic improvements, and for that he bounced the ball back into Clayton’s court. Therefore, a few minutes ago I sent Clayton, leader of the grout people, a friendly email to express my wishes for completing the project as follows.

And now it’s time for the “finishing touch.” Somebody needs to clean up the caulk/silicone job on the tile and baseboards outside of the shower below the bench. Tim says your crew ruined the baseboards (we bought them; your guys installed them) and need to be replaced again. The paint job was substandard, too, and very messy.

Under the circumstances Sam and I would appreciate your sending a good handyman to finish the cosmetic portion of this job and return our master bathroom to like-new condition for us. It’s not really a big job by any means, but it’s something I don’t think your guys are trained to do. And they admitted last time they don’t have the equipment to cut and install baseboards. Please let us know how you plan to proceed.

I really don’t give a crap if Clayton gets insulted by this. His grout goons wrecked our beautiful shower AND WE WON’T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT. Come back later for an update and thank you for your support.

And now it’s time for our latest Putz of the Week! Meet Jonathan Saenz, obsessed anti-gay activitist and president of a ridiculous right-wing organization called “Texas Values.” Basically, this assclown thinks he runs the Y’all Qaeda.
In a June 20 radio interview with Raging Elephants Radio host Claver Kamau-Imani (no kidding, this is actually a thing) Saenz was asked about a “Christian” Colorado bakery facing discrimination charges for refusing to bake wedding cakes for same-sex couples. Kamau-Imani said: “And so the homosexual couple ... they go to this specially-created commission to deal with this, file a complaint against the business, and so the commission says ‘no, you’re gonna make this cake, plus, you’re going to a FEMA concentration camp,’ essentially. Is that what you’re telling us, Jonathan?”

“That’s right, that’s right,” Saenz replied. “They tried to do something like that here in Texas. I think it was a bill that dealt with hate crime stuff, where they would have forced you to participate in an event of the community that you offended. I mean, this is what they want. There’s no question. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen them try to do it with legislation here in Texas at the state level. It’s a goal of theirs to put people in jail that disagree with homosexual marriage or the homosexual lifestyle.”  

Holy mother of crap.

Saenz also supports the discredited junk science “ex-gay therapy” horseshit, which the entire Texas Republican Party voted into its party platform earlier this month. And you know what? This isn’t the first time Saenz has spewed insane inflammatory rhetoric to attack LGBT equality, and he even insists that it ushers in FORCED LEGALIZATION of “polygamy and polyandry” and marriage between step-parents and step-children. Also probably marriage with animals, geological formations and inanimate objects. His solution to the horror that gays continue to exist is telling them “it’s never too late to change.”

As far as I can tell this is at least the tenth right-wing theory I’ve heard about President Obama and concentration camps. Maybe we should just give them what they want so they’ll shut the hell up about it already. I mean, if gay people are planning concentration camps over freakin’ WEDDING CAKES I’d really hate to know what they’re planning over stuff that actually matters. And for the record, FEMA was established in 1979 by Jimmy Carter, and Ronald Reagan laid the theory and groundwork for political-based “detention camps” back during the Cold War. This has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with President Obama, gay people, cake, or the God-fearin’, homo-hatin’ Christians in Texas.
Please make it stop. I think it’s time for everybody to quit the Internet.

I’m overdue for a good kvetch report so here goes. My body temperature is 95.3°, my feet are murdering me, I have a headache and I think I’ve got bladder control issues again. Under the circumstances I think a couple of Tylenol, a Marcytini and a large volume of Chinese food are in order. Thank you for reading this.

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