A drought lament and six things you can do at Costco without a membership.

It’s a dark, dismal, overcast, hot and clammy Tuesday morning in north Texas. The sky looks like rain but GOOD LUCK WITH THAT since we’re still in “extreme drought” around here with stage three water restrictions. It sucks to be us.

In other news, I talked to a pleasant doofus at Network Solutions this morning about our botched-up email service and they called Web.com for me to straighten out the mess. At this point I’m holding a good thought that Web.com FINALLY corrected their damn stupid typos from yesterday’s brouhaha [see post] and our elusive but essential MX Record will “migrate” within the next four to six hours. THESE PEOPLE MAKE ME NAUSEOUS AND I HATE THEM ALL. Thank you for letting me rant.

And now ... I’ve got a Howdygram public service announcement borrowed in part from a post by Patrick Allen on Lifehacker.com: SIX THINGS YOU CAN DO AT COSTCO WITHOUT A MEMBERSHIP just in case you don’t want to cough up any cash to join.

1. GET AN EYE EXAM. Costco stores have an optometrist on site and you can schedule an appointment whether you’re a member or not. The downside is that you need a membership to buy Costco’s glasses and contact lenses. (FYI, their prices are cheapo.)
2. USE A COSTCO GIFT CARD. As long as the gift card (which can go up to $1,000) is bought by someone with a membership, you can buy anything in the store. You can also use it to get into the store without a membership card.
3. ACCESS THE PHARMACY. You can get your prescriptions filled at Costco without a membership and also get immunizations.
4. BUY ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES. Since most states prohibit alcohol or tobacco “clubs” you can tell them at the door that you’re there to just buy booze and they should let you in.
5. GO WINDOW SHOPPING. Tell the associate at the entrance checking member cards that you want to go to membership services and ask about joining. Once you’re at the service desk, get an application and ask to browse around the store before making your decision.
6. EAT AT THE FOOD COURT. Many Costcos have food courts outside the main entrance so you can buy whatever you want as long as you’re paying cash. If the food court is inside you can use an old gift card to get in or try the aforementioned window shopping trick.

For the record, we love our local Costco. Sam shops there every week and we think our annual membership is worth every penny especially since there’s really nowhere else to buy all our favorite Costco crap such as teeny tacos, tubs of marinated mozzarella balls with green things, industrial-size muffins, fresh salsa, tortellini pasta salad with wads of real salami, frozen Angus burgers, Foster Farms breaded chicken patties with optional salmonella, gigantic jars of Vitamin D capsules and (Sam’s favorite) Brownie Brittle.

Hey. It’s 11 a.m. and time for my morning nap! Do I have a great life, or what?