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Once again I’m waking up after two long, long naps. The first was 18 hours, from 5:30 a.m. until 7:45 p.m. last night, and another four hours from 11 p.m. until 3 a.m. this morning, just a few minutes ago. Life is upside-down. I sleep all day, I’m up all night, but fortunately Sam is usually on the same schedule with me.

I’m especially hysterical about Hand-Pulled Rotisserie Chicken White Meat.

So here’s what’s happening here today: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. It’s 3:25 a.m. on Wednesday morning I tried to write this post at dinnertime on Tuesday but couldn’t stay awake long enough to write the first sentence. After an 11-hour nap I finally woke up about 15 minutes ago, said “hello” to Sam, and decided to start writing immediately so I could actually make some progress with this post. Jesus.

Dear World: I hate Greg Abbott and love Amazon Fresh!

The state of Texas is out of its fucking mind. Our maniacal pro-Trump governor, grifter-in-chief Greg Abbott, decided all by himself — against warnings and directives by the CDC and the Board of Health — to “reopen” the state so that everybody can go back to their favorite hair and nail salons, bars, restaurants and shopping malls even though Texas has the worst COVID-19 infection rate in the United States with more new cases daily than ANYWHERE … including Mars. After Abbott’s proclamation, the entire under-30 age group did exactly what he wanted them to do, and barely two weeks later they all wound up infected with Coronavirus. Totally predictable and expected, and now all those poor twits are sick, miserable, unemployed and hospitalized with no insurance coverage! To make things even worse, now their parents are sick, their children are sick, their grandparents are sick, their friends are sick and their neighbors are sick.

I’m not in a very good mood right now and don’t need shit from anybody.

This has been the day from hell. And it’s not over yet.

I decided to revamp the Howdygram’s subheads today.

Hello. It’s early Wednesday evening and I just woke up from a 14-hour (that’s not a typo!) nap. FOURTEEN HOURS. The last thing I remember is Sam giving me a bath at 3 a.m., and I felt so good that I passed out afterwards. Trust me, it wasn’t my intention to do that, because I had a lot of “plans” today! These included: 1) eating; 2) uploading at least 200 new designs for iPhone cases in The Howdygram Store; 3) contacting Wal-Mart via live chat to complain that a jar of pitted Greek olives broke in transit; 4) Repeat #1; and 5) Repeat #4. Got that?