Hello. It’s early Wednesday evening and I just woke up from a 14-hour (that’s not a typo!) nap.
FOURTEEN HOURS. The last thing I remember is Sam giving me a bath at 3 a.m., and I felt so good that I
passed out afterwards. Trust me, it wasn’t my intention to do that, because I had a lot of “plans” today! These included: 1) eating; 2) uploading at least 200 new designs for iPhone cases in
The Howdygram Store; 3) contacting
Wal-Mart via live chat to complain that a jar of pitted Greek olives broke in transit; 4) Repeat #1; and 5) Repeat #4.
Got that?
To help myself appreciate the
minutiae of life — as I no longer have the health or stamina for anything else — I decided to revamp the Howdygram’s subheads today. Since early this morning I’ve been testing all kinds of different design options … subheads framed by horizontal rules, subheads with stupid geometric shapes, subheads with and without italics, subheads in really heavy type, subheads in color, subheads with assorted graphics and subheads eating pancakes. Nothing made me happy. After wasting about 13 hours I finally wound up with the subhead you see up above. It’s one point smaller than the old subheads and I changed the font weight from AMSI Pro Narrow Bold to AMSI Pro Narrow Black. Big fucking deal,
right?
I also tweaked the Howdygram’s tagline in the banner (i.e., “Made in Texas”) and increased the slant of the italics by an extra two degrees, making it 15° total. TWO STINKING DEGREES!
Please send me an
email if you’re sexually aroused by any of this. I might be able to recommend a therapist.
There’s probably only one genuine “up” side to the Coronavirus quarantine …
DISCOVERING NEW GROCERY SOURCES!
Sam and I have been using
Wal-Mart’s pickup service at their superstore on the I-30 service road for the last several months, but yesterday morning we tried —
for the very first time! — a delivery from
Whole Foods Market* via Amazon Fresh. Seriously, Whole Foods’ prices on
Amazon are unbelievably cheapo
— way more cheapo than their in-store prices! — and there’s no extra charge for front door “contactless” delivery. either.
Woo-hoo!
WHOLE FOODS. We’ve never shopped at Whole Foods for a couple of reasons: 1) all of their Dallas stores are in snooty locations and not close to Howdygram headquarters; and 2) we always thought Whole Foods was overpriced. For example, why would I pay $4.95 for a bag of frozen meatballs at Whole Foods when I can buy the exact same product at Wal-Mart for $2.84?
Yesterday’s Amazon Fresh order included …
- Deli-sliced pastrami, ½ pound.
- Deli-sliced pepper jack cheese, ½ pound.
- Deli-sliced chicken breast, ½ pound.
- Two bottles of House of Tsang’s General Tso Sauce.
- Reser’s cole slaw.
- Green Giant frozen creamed spinach.
- Royal Asia Boom-Boom Shrimp.
Please allow me to add a note of explanation with regard to Boom Boom Shrimp (#7) … just in case you’ve never heard of them. These are batter-dipped shrimp chunks, fully cooked, frozen and sold in two-pound bags. If you want to eat these “boom boom” style, you can Google a recipe for authentic
boom boom sauce, which is basically a spicy mayonnaise-style dip, like a
rémoulade. For me,
however, I’ll just toss my shrimp with one of those lovely, spicy House of Tsang sauces that I’ve been raving about lately. House of Tsang’s General Tso Sauce and Spicy Szechuan Sauce are equally awesome.
Because my favorite Chinese restaurant (China City) has been closed since the first week of the pandemic — Sam won’t let me order from anywhere else, and for good reason — I’ve been trying to create Asian dishes at home that will satisfy my cravings. AND IT’S WORKING! I have a case of Maruchan’s Spicy Shrimp Ramen Bowls, a case of Maruchan’s Teriyaki Yakisoba Noodles, Boom Boom Shrimp with the world’s best sauces from House of Tsang, hokkien noodles and a box of Wal-Mart’s store brand frozen chicken egg rolls (stop laughing … they get very good reviews). Now I can eat Chinese food 24/7,
right here at home!
WEDNESDAY, 11:06 P.M., 4/29/2020. It’s a few minutes past 11 p.m. right now and Sam is in the middle of a nice long juicy nap on the sofa. I’m resting comfortably in my hospital bed with A VERY LOUD STORM overhead! Acutally, this is more than your run-of-the-mill thunderstorm … this time we’ve got a very strong wind that’s trying to suck the solar screens off our windows, hailstones, thunder, lightning, a shitload of very heavy rain and flood warnings! (I don’t care about the flood warnings. Our house is on top of a hill.) Also, in case the power goes out I’ve got a jumbo flashlight nearby and a battery-operated oxygen tank. (Plus 10 more tanks in the closet.)
Aunie Em! Auntie Em!
I’d like to share a few more new digital art collections that represent nearly all of my favorite shops on
Etsy.com … Digital Curio, Julie Campbell Designs, Things by Lary and Clipheart Creations. These images are all 12-inches square, 300 dpi resolution and seamless, which makes them perfect for products I create for
The Howdygram Store … iPhone cases, greeting cards, padfolios, playing cards, coasters and so on. These are all so damn gorgeous I don’t know what to do first! (Maybe I’ll start with a nervous breakdown and a glass of lemonade.)
During the first few days of the COVID-19 pandemic — when it was hard to know what would disappear from store shelves when everybody got sick of hoarding toilet paper — I stocked up on lots of freeze-dried food from
Thrive Life. Their products are quite amazing, very healthy and taste fantastic. Right now we’ve got several of them in the pantry: 1) ground beef; 2) instant refried beans; 3) green beans; 4) crumbled breakfast sausage; 5) scrambled egg mix; and 6) grilled seasoned sliced chicken. My favorites are #3 and #6.
Thrive Life’s freeze-dried green beans were a delightful surprise. They rehydrate in a couple of minutes and give you fully cooked, tender, petite beans with an elegant “angled” cut that’s pretty enough to serve company! I’ve asked Sam to add a cup of these to my do-it-yourself Chinese entrées, because I love veggies and don’t get enough of them. (Incidentally, when they rehydrate they’re bright green and beautiful like the photo on the can above.)
It’s my pleasure to award Thrive Life with the Howdygram’s coveted
five chopper rating for their freeze-dried green beans.
THURSDAY, 6:30 A.M., 4/30/2020. It’s high time to publish this post and move on to other projects. For instance, I have hundreds of new designs for iPhone cases that I haven’t uploaded yet to
The Howdygram Store plus ideas for new mug designs and new greeting cards. And I’d like to grab an hour’s nap right now so I’ll stay awake when our hospice social worker stops by this morning at 9:30.
I feel like a zombie. Thank you for reading this.
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