Hello from Marcy’s hospice.

SATURDAY, 5/26/2018, 8:45 P.M. Hi, people. Miss me yesterday? I didn’t have an opportunity to write a Howdygram post due to 20 hours of NONSTOP NAUSEA that began shortly before sun-up and finally ended at 1 a.m. this morning, which is the same time that Sam finally went home to get some sleep. (He refused to leave me while I was writhing in misery. That sweet saint!) The nurses gave me four intravenous doses of an anti-nausea medication, one pill and a special cup of Maalox that’s supposed to make you belch. It tasted like furniture polish and made me GAG.

But the big news is … I’ll be going home today, immediately after Howdygram headquaters is converted into a hospice! The goal is to make me as comfortable as possible, although I’m not really sure what that will involve. I do know I’ll get a bed (probably), a lot of good drugs, oxygen, a cannula, a home health nurse and assorted medical aides. Also food.

So ... here are some thoughts about Friday, as much as I can remember, which really isn’t very much at all:

• My hospice case worker (Bea), set me up with thrice-weekly visits from a social worker named Teresa. I’m not exactly sure what Teresa wants me to do or talk about, but I’m a captive audience here. She’ll start tomorrow because today’s a holiday … Memorial Day! On a personal note, I hope Bea will find someone to take over organization of my prescriptions and ordering refills.
• I’ve got a sweetie-pie nursing aide coming Monday, Wednesday and Friday to do bathing, powdering, overall pampering and creaming of my royal shins and feet.
• A dude named Bob Hackendorf wants to see me tomorrow. I’m pretty sure he’s the hospice chaplain, but he didn’t mention that when he called. He just left a syrupy Texas-style voice mail.
• And finally, an R.N. will be here three times a week to do wound care for the ulcer on the bottom of my left heel. It’s already feeling better!

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MONDAY, 5/28/2018, 9:47 P.M. There’s not much going on here tonight. Sam has collapsed on the sofa and we’re watching No Time for Sergeants (1958) starring Andy Griffith and Nick Adams. Love this movie! When Sam wakes up a little I’ll ask him for my night-time meds and a glass of strawberry Clear American soda from Wal-Mart. Sam and I stock about eight flavors at Howdygram headquarters, including Lemon, Key Lime, Mandarin Orange, Strawberry, Wild Cherry, Black Cherry, Golden Peach, Wild Berry and Blueberry Pomegranate. Oh God, this stuff is INCREDIBLE.

Best soda on the planet. No calories, no sugar, no sodium, no caffeine!

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It’s already 10 p.m. and I think I’d better move myself back to chaise lounge, take some pills, inject my night-time insulin and get some sleep. Sleep is fantastic, people. My hospice crew will be here again tomorrow … and maybe one of them will help me walk to the study. I need some keyboard time at my big iMac computer and some time to print envelopes for my summer birthday cards. Keep your fingers crossed for me, okay?

Smooches to you and yours!