It’s New Year’s Eve, Sam has “cabin fever” and I’m ordering Chinese food.

It’s 2 p.m. on a bitter cold New Year’s Eve. The outside temperature is 26° with a wind-chill of 13°. THAT’S FUCKING RIDICULOUS FOR TEXAS, people. And it’s also been dark, dismal and overcast for the last several days, which only makes it feel worse. Sam has developed “cabin fever,” a temporary mental illness that develops whenever you’re stuck indoors for a prolonged period of time and can’t get out to enjoy the sunshine. There isn’t any sunshine, and it’s just TOO DAMN COLD.

A senior citizen shopping splurge that went off the rails.

I didn’t know for sure if I wanted to write a post today as I’ve been swamped with so many other pressing activities here at Howdygram headquarters. These include: 1) breakfast; 2) downloading new clipart for greeting card projects for The Howdygram Store; and 3) taking a shower.

It’s Christmas Day 2017. Have a good one, goyim!

I’m adding this paragraph two days after composing the rest of this post because I WAS SICK AGAIN. I won’t go into too much detail here (you can thank me later) but I’ll describe my day like this: a high fever, uncontrollable screaming, a peeing incident and paramedics. Please write for additional information.

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Merry Christmas from the Howdygram! It’s a nice, quiet day here … bitter cold (in the 30s), but there’s no snow and it’s pleasantly sunny. Sam is taking a drive through nearby Sunnyvale because he enjoys looking at the cattle ranches.

Free fonts, an in-depth toe report and some light left-wing political commentary.

Holy crap. I just lost an entire draft version of a Howdygram post, a long one that I’ve been working on for TWO DAYS. I can’t believe this! I started the Howdygram ten fucking years ago, and and this is the first time I’ve ever lost something huge like this. Two days of work down the drain! I’m totally devastated. I WANT TO KICK SOMETHING.

With any luck I’ll never have to see another dentist for the rest of my life.

Ah, Tuesday! I’m having a lovely time in the study with a quart of cherry limeade, a bag of Chester’s orange puffcorn and my space heater because I woke up freezing again. I’ve also been working on some greeting card projects for The Howdygram Store, updating the cardback cover art with my new store logo. And FYI, the Howdygram has a new logo, too! This is so exciting I almost can’t stand it.

The Howdygram Store is proud to introduce its “Founding Fathers” Collection!

Happy Monday morning from the crew at Howdygram headquarters! Sam is reading the news online at Yahoo.com and I just finished uploading my brand new line of Founding Fathers coffee mugs and greeting cards for The Howdygram Store. Yes, they’re as fabulous as they sound. Yes, I’m exceedingly weird.

Getting hysterical about Republican shitheads could be detrimental to my overall well-being.

Wow. Good morning! It’s 10:25 a.m., Sam just got home from Wal-Mart with my Coumadin refill, and I’m finishing up a few last-minute Christmas card creations for The Howdygram Store. In case you’re interested, designing Christmas cards is far better than trying to digest the news from America’s dumpster fire in Congress. What the fuck is wrong with those people!?

You should sign up for Zazzle.com’s promotional emails.

Holy shitsky, people … it’s been another whole week since my last Howdygram post! Once again, however, I do have an excuse. I WAS SICK. This time it included: 1) severe arthritis pain in my knees and gout pain in my toe; 2) overall crappiness and weakness; 3) an exploding bladder with no advance warning whatsoever; and 4) probably another undiagnosed urinary tract infection. I haven’t been able to spend any time at my desk in the study since Tuesday, and it’s impossible for me to type anything on my iPhone while I’m lying down on the chaise in the family room unless it involves a two-sentence response to an email. So there you have it. Let’s move on, shall we? And I’ll begin with one of my favorite topics: FONTS.