I’m adding this paragraph two days after composing the rest of this post because I WAS SICK AGAIN. I won’t go into too much detail here (you can thank me later) but I’ll describe my day like this: a high fever, uncontrollable screaming, a peeing incident and paramedics. Please
write for additional information.
Merry Christmas from the Howdygram! It’s a nice, quiet day here … bitter cold (in the 30s), but there’s no snow and it’s pleasantly sunny. Sam is taking a drive through nearby Sunnyvale because he enjoys looking at the cattle ranches.
There’s nothing of any consequence going on at Howdygram headquarters today. I’ve chosen to spend the day typing — which is my only real stab at physical exercise — and watching Christmas movies stored on our DVR. These will include:
The Man Who Came to Dinner (1942) starring Bette Davis with ridiculous hair and Monty Woolley;
Christmas in Connecticut (1945) starring Barbara Stanwyck and Dennis Morgan;
Meet Me in St. Louis (1944) starring Judy Garland and Margaret O’Brien; and
The Shop Around the Corner (1940) starring Margaret Sullavan, James Stewart and Frank Morgan.
Even though these are four-star movies and top-notch entertainment, I’m still craving two of my all-time favorites …
White Christmas (1954) starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen, and
It’s a Wonderful Life” (1946) starring James Stewart and Donna Reed. I can’t find them anywhere on TV, they’re never shown on TCM, and it’s even hard to find them in stock on DVD from
Amazon! For instance, Amazon sells each movie individually for about $14 (they’re always out of stock at that price) or I can buy them bundled together as a set for $59. (What a bargain.) As a result, I haven’t seen
White Christmas or
It’s a Wonderful Life for years and years, and it’s depressing. Please post a comment or send me an
email if you have any meaningful suggestions. Thank you.
Incidentally, beginning with this Howdygram post I would like to introduce a new occasional section called Marcy’s Classic Movies — with a rip-off logo design from TCM — where I’ll write brilliant film reviews with lots of pictures whenever possible. And I suppose I may as well launch right into my first review …
OF HUMAN HEARTS (1938), starring Walter Huston, James Stewart and Beulah Bondi, an antebellum soap opera set in Ohio in the mid-19th century.
Huston, as a dirt-poor preacher, and Bondi, play Ethan and Mary Wilkins, James Stewart’s parents. They all arrive in a poor Ohio community around 1845 so Huston can take the job as pastor. The pay sucks and all three of them have to live off the “kindness” of strangers, wearing used donated clothes and eating cast-off vegetables and weird meat … whatever shows up on Sunday in the donation basket. Huston and Bondi don’t mind very much, but James Stewart (as Jason Wilkins) has an ongoing brain hemorrhage about it. Jason makes it abundantly clear that he doesn’t want to live like this, so Ethan, therefore, believes it’s necessary to beat the crap out of his son every chance he gets ... for breathing with the wrong expression on his face, for not being religious enough, or for not being hysterically grateful for the wretched old clothes and spoiled food that winds up in the Sunday barrel at church. (In the first half of the movie James Stewart’s character is played by 15-year-old Gene Reynolds.)
Eventually Jason runs away from home. He’s already an adult by now, probably in his early 20s, but his father is still whipping him for every infraction and he’s still not allowed to follow his own passion. Jason wants to be a doctor; Ethan wants him to be a pastor. As Ethan and Jason are away in the hills ministering to isolated members of the community, they wind up in a “last straw” argument and beat the living shit out of each other. Jason finally decides to leave home to attend an east coast medical college. The story turns even darker here, with Jason constantly writing to his mother for money — which she clearly doesn’t have — so mom ends up selling practically everything she owns, including the family’s silverware, tea kettle, mom’s favorite hat boxes, her own mother’s wedding ring … even Pilgrim, their horse. Every time Jason writes home for money, we begin to see him as the shallow, self-absorbed asshole he’s always been. The letters end altogether after Jason finally has everything he wants (including a fancy dress uniform that cost his mother $70) and joins the Union army as a doctor and officer during the Civil War. After mom hasn’t heard from him for several years she writes to President Lincoln to ask where her son is buried so she can visit his grave and bring flowers. Lincoln locates Jason, who’s still very much alive and still in the army, orders him to Washington, D.C., and straightens him out in the Oval Office with a very “Lincolnesque” speech. It’s all very hokey, thoroughly not-believable, but heart-wrenching. John Carradine is excellent as President Lincoln.
As always, James Stewart was absolutely amazing. Even in those scenes when you hate him the most — like when he writes letters begging his starving mother for money — you still love him!
For great performances by some excellent classic actors, I’m pleased to award
Of Human Hearts the Howdygram’s coveted five-star rating.
★★★★★
And now let’s take a quick look at the orders arriving today at Howdygram headquarters! We’re expecting two deliveries from
Amazon … a box of Maruchan Yakisoba Beef Teriyaki noodles and a package of 60 Chinet Cut Crystal 14-ounce Plastic Cups. Although I find it unnecessary to explain my purchase for either of these pantry staples, I’ll just say that I like Chinet cups in the study because they’re comfortable for drinking things, and I like the Maruchan noodles for their versatility. I usually don’t eat them with the included beef teriyaki sauce powder packet. Instead, I mix them with a container of Hormel Compleats Chili with Beans or Hormel Sandwich Makers Meatballs with Marninara Sauce. IT’S A FREAKIN’ MICROWAVE BANQUET!
And now I think I’ll design some sarcastic Valentine cards for
The Howdygram Store. Sales were excellent through Christmas and I want to keep that momentum for other holidays if I can. Apparently Zazzle has been advertising my products nationally because I’ll sell the same mug to half a dozen different customers in different part of the country. And a lot of my customers are in Canada and Great Britain! I will post a couple of my latest designs here for your possible interest.
Click here to order them.
I have to finish up my shopping list now so Sam can go to Wal-Mart. He actually wanted to go yesterday except he was busy with his deranged wife and the paramedics.
What a life! Also, thank you for reading this.
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