It’s New Year’s Eve, Sam has “cabin fever” and I’m ordering Chinese food.

It’s 2 p.m. on a bitter cold New Year’s Eve. The outside temperature is 26° with a wind-chill of 13°. THAT’S FUCKING RIDICULOUS FOR TEXAS, people. And it’s also been dark, dismal and overcast for the last several days, which only makes it feel worse. Sam has developed “cabin fever,” a temporary mental illness that develops whenever you’re stuck indoors for a prolonged period of time and can’t get out to enjoy the sunshine. There isn’t any sunshine, and it’s just TOO DAMN COLD.

Therefore, to ring in the New Year Sam and I have decided to order a nice big Chinese meal late this afternoon so I can watch Eat, Drink, Man Woman (1994), a Taiwanese gem about a Chinese master chef, his three unmarried daughters, their screwy love-lives and their weekly ritual Sunday feasts. The cooking scenes are absolutely TO-DIE-FOR. (Incidentally, it’s easy to follow the story even with subtitles, and I guarantee you’ll be hungry if you’re not already eating Chinese food!)

To accompany the movie I’ll be ordering Hot & Sour Soup, Steamed Meat Dumplings, Lemon Butter Shrimp and Mongolian Chicken. (I might swap Twice-Cooked Pork for the Mongolian Chicken. I haven’t decided yet.) PASS THE SOY SAUCE.

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If any of you have big plans for 2018 please post a comment and let me know what they are. Mine will include all of the following:

MAJOR DENTAL WORK provided by Elite Mobile Dental that will get underway on Wednesday, January 3. They’re coming over to do seven extractions and make me a lower denture … RIGHT HERE AT HOME! However I’m pretty sure during the first appointment they’ll start by just taking an impression.

A VISIT FROM SANDI. My best friend Sandi (she’s in Buffalo Grove, Illinois) and her friend Bob will come for a three-day visit as soon as Sandi retires from her job at the end of March. We’ve been BFFs since the summer after sixth grade; it’s been 18 years since I’ve seen her.

A VISIT FROM ROBIN AND HER GIRLS. My sister Robin and nieces Melissa and Allison will be here for a quick visit as soon as the weather is stable in Chicago and there’s no chance of a blizzard, ice storm or other inclement weather. I haven’t seen any of them since Sam and I were in Chicago in 2004. (The years are drifting away from us. We have to do better than this!)

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Today I’ve been working hard on greeting card designs — especially Valentines! — for The Howdygram Store, which was a busy (and profitable) little spot throughout the holidays with lots of customers (especially in Canada, Australia and Great Britain!) and lots of sales. I get so excited every time I make a sale! During the last 45 minutes alone I sold three greeting cards, one mug and three spiral notebooks. I LOVE THIS.

It’s time to order my Chinese feast now and relocate into the family room. HAPPY NEW YEAR, everybody! Have a safe holiday and try to stay away from lunatics on the road, okay?