I don’t know what I was thinking last night when I ordered that gigantic timepiece from
Kirkland’s [see yesterday’s
post]. No kidding, people ... WHO THE HELL HANGS A THREE-FOOT-WIDE CLOCK OVER THE PANTRY DOOR? Plus I eventually found out that the LED clock light on the microwave wasn’t burned out after all; Sam just reset the clock function when he got home from work and my life is completely swell again. So ... this morning I did live chat with a Kirkland’s customer service doofus when they opened at 7 a.m. and canceled the order. To cheer myself up immediately thereafter I ordered a cute set of metal nesting baskets from
Wal-Mart. You get three different sizes: 7½", 9½" and 10¾". A PERSON CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY CHEAP WIRE BASKETS WITH FABRIC LINERS!
I’m not sure I can explain this, but ... I SLEPT ALL DAY TODAY. Here’s a complete timeline for your possible interest.
- 6:00 A.M. I wake up.
- 8:50 A.M. I decide to take a nap on the chaise in the family room when Sam leaves to get a haircut and do a drive-by at City Hall to pay our water bill at the drop box. My preferred morning nap movie is Murder Ahoy (1964) starring Margaret Rutherford.
- 11:50 A.M. Our Schwan’s delivery dude calls my cell phone and wakes me up. He’s standing outside with our frozen food delivery.
- 12:05 P.M. Sam makes me lunch. He does a fine job with Seasoned Meat Slabs for Senior Citizens with Grill Marks and Low-Carb Pasta Rice but my appetite isn’t the best and I only eat maybe half of it.
- 12:30 P.M. Sam and I begin our after-lunch naps. I think I hear our landscapers.
- 2:05 P.M. I get up to pee. Sam leaves for work. He’s wearing a nice tie.
- 2:15 P.M. I’m back on the chaise to begin the second wave of my after-lunch nap. This time I choose no movie whatsoever because I have a headache.
- 6:25 P.M. I wake up.
In light of the above I’m pleased to report that I finally feel rested. Trust me, people ... a shitload of sleep is the best non-prescription painkiller ever invented.
For your possible interest the following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) the City of Mesquite’s water department drop box; and C) Sam’s barber. (They accept coupons.)
Yup, it’s official. Louisiana Governor Piyush “Call Me Bobby” Jindal, 44, threw his sweaty little hat into the proverbial ring today, entering the 2016 presidential race with the support of just one likely GOP voter, according to the latest poll.
Jindal was scheduled to appear tonight at an event in suburban New Orleans to announce his decision in person. Meanwhile, his campaign website features a video of Jindal and his wife, Supriya, telling their three children that he was going to be a candidate and promising his daughter they would get a puppy if they moved to the White House.
Poor kids. He even lies to his own children.
Jindal is widely disliked. He destroyed Louisiana’s economy, defunded its universities, passed laws to force public schools to teach Creationism, refused to accept free Medicaid expansion under Obamacare, trampled on LGBT civil rights by signing an executive order that legalized discrimination and consistently ranks at the bottom in every poll of Republicans in the 2016 clown car. The MarblePort/Hayride poll in Louisiana released last week was especially embarrassing for Jindal, showing a majority of Louisianans backing Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton. And the latest Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll found just one likely Republican primary voter — one voter; NOT one percent — out of 236 surveyed intended to back Jindal.
Do not waste your time with this idiot. Thank you.
It’s 9:30 p.m. and an excellent time for a hot shower and snacks while I wait for Sam to get home from work. If my energy holds out I might even try making dinner! HOLY CRAP!
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