I’m planning to frost sugar-free Wal-Mart pound cake. This will taste like cupcakes.

Shalom and howdy from Texas, people. I’ve got a million subjects to cover in my post today and zero clever segues, so maybe I’ll opt for my favorite “neat and convenient subtitled paragraphs” format. You’re welcome.

CUTER THAN A COUPLE OF ROYALS. Meet Tyler and Addison, the precious offspring of my niece Melissa and her husband, Tom. OY, LOOK AT THOSE FACES! I COULD EAT THEM UP!

A DIABETIC FROSTING EMERGENCY. Sue me. I can’t help it. I don’t crave sweets very often, but whenever I do Howdygram headquarters shifts into “high alert” until I figure out how to get what I want. My latest craving? CUPCAKES, goddamn it. But since nobody sells ready-made sugar-free cupcakes-by-mail for housebound senior citizens with diabetes I had to come up with the next best thing. I sent Sam to Wal-Mart for a container of their tasty sugar-free lemon pound cake slices and ordered two cans of Pillsbury sugar-free chocolate fudge frosting (from Wal-Mart’s website), which will be here TODAY.

Yes, I’m planning to frost sugar-free Wal-Mart POUND CAKE. This will taste like cupcakes and my mouth hole will never know the difference.

EVERYBODY NEEDS A CHEF BOYARDEE RAVIOLI SUBSCRIPTION. Great news! My June Subscribe & Save order from Amazon will be here tomorrow and includes a case of Chef Boyardee mini ravioli in microwaveable tubs and a pack of 48 AA Maxell batteries. For the record, Chef Boyardee mini ravioli tastes fine at room temperature, too, in case you have mobility issues like yours truly and can’t stand up in front of the microwave.

A FEW MORE NEW FACES. FOR FREE. Here are my newest free fonts for your possible interest. I’ll be glad to send you any or all of these files via email if  you want them; click here to ask, okay?

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I’ve got a pile of political horseshit to share with you, too, but I’m thinking it might be a good idea to publish this post as-is and write another one that focuses on politics. Because inquiring minds want to know, right? Right! LEFT!