Holy shit. I hear thundersleet!

Yes, dear readers, at 6:15 a.m. we’ve got THUNDERSLEET here in the Dallas metro area as pellets of ice and noise from the heavens rain down on the city. We’re expecting up to two inches of this miserable frozen crap by noon today followed by 36 hours of steady temperatures in the 20s, which means NOTHING WILL MELT AND WE’RE SCREWED. (I hate ice storms.) The red star on the following map indicates Howdygram headquarters. Don’t bother zooming in; it’s too damn cold for me to stand outside and wave.

Incidentally, I intend to reschedule my lab appointment for a routine Coumadin blood test tomorrow morning due to handicapped senior citizens such as yours truly already have enough trouble getting around in DRY weather ... I REFUSE TO PUSH MY LUCK ON ICE.

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To amuse myself during our indefinite ice storm hibernation I just ordered four boxes of very nice Easy Touch insulin syringes from the fine people at Active Forever. Only $10.95 for 100! That’s less than half what everybody else is charging (typically about $24.95) and two bucks cheaper even than Wal-Mart ($12.95), although Wal-Mart doesn’t sell syringes online. (You have to buy them from a pharmacist and hope he has them in stock.) I did good. I’M A GENIUS! As soon as they get here you are cordially invited to MY BIG FAT INSULIN PARTY! Yee-haw!

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News flash! Sam will be working from home today due to ice on the all the streets and freeways, which means he gets to wear his favorite black stretchy pants, eat trail mix, look adorable and not leave the house. I LOVE IT WHEN HE’S HOME! We’re discussing lunch as I write this post. I’m considering the meatloaf Sam bought yesterday from Central Market with rye bread, a side order of braunschweiger and Greek olives.

Thank you for reading this. Pass the napkins.