Cheap Epson photo paper is nothing at which to sneeze in any way whatsoever.

You might not believe this, but I never got around to writing a post yesterday because the entire day was packed with too many other compelling things to do! For instance: 1) a really wet shower with hot water; 2) lunch; 3) a three-hour nap; 4) dinner; and 5) watching Sam sleep through two fine movies. These were: White Cargo (1942), a hilariously atrocious misery festival set in 1910 on a sweaty African rubber plantation starring Walter Pidgeon, Richard Carlson and Hedy Lamarr; and Advise & Consent (1962), an Otto Preminger drama/mystery/thriller gem about bullshit in the U.S. Senate starring nearly everybody in Hollywood.

By the way, if you’ve never seen White Cargo — with the aforementioned Miss Lamarr as a spray-tanned half-breed African sex goddess named Tondelayo — I strongly suggest that you keep an eye out for it on TCM because you’ll thank me afterwards. (If Hedy Lamarr looks African to you, I’m Princess Grace.)

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It’s 3:45 p.m., and it might interest you to know that I just woke up from a thoroughly glorious, totally juicy, completely awesome ALL-DAY FOUR-HOUR NAP. I feel so perky and rested, in fact, that Sam and I just decided to drive our bodies around Dallas’ snootiest neighborhood tonight and appreciate their goyishe Christmas lights. Departure via the Howdymobile is scheduled for 6 p.m. and our intended route is illustrated below. Thank you.

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Hey, people, please allow me to recommend Amazon next time you need photo paper for your inkjet printer because HOLY CRAP, IT’S REALLY CHEAP! This is nothing at which to sneeze in any way whatsoever.

I just ordered the product pictured here — a 50-sheet package of Epson 8½" x 11" photo paper — for only $9.95, which is 70% cheaper than Epson’s website and half the cost of Wal-Mart, making it an official Genuine Howdygram-Approved Bargain. And it’s not only cheap, IT’S TERRIFIC STUFF because I use Epson photo paper for nearly all of my adorable homemade greeting cards.

Incidentally, if you’ve never received one of the aforementioned adorable homemade greeting cards please use the Howdygram’s convenient contact form to provide your birthday and home address and I’ll send one at the appropriate time ABSOLUTELY FREE with a real postage stamp.

Shalom, y’all.