Monday, May 7, 2018

Sam can’t stand Maurice Chevalier. I’m pretty sure it’s that creepy song he sings about little girls in “Gigi.”

MONDAY, 8:54 A.M. Good morning, boys and girls. I’m pleased to announce that I feel better today so far! As long as I take my pain meds at regular intervals I should be able to sit here comfortably, composing the Howdygram for hours. But you never can tell. Sometimes agony creeps up on me with no warning whatsoever and whacks me right between the eyes, and I have to shlep back to the chaise and collapse.

FYI, the crew from Elite Mobile Dental showed up this morning at 8 a.m. sharp to take another impression, and they promised that my new lower denture should be ready by Wednesday. These people are adorable, hopeful and apparently good at what they do … except I really have no confidence whatsoever that my forthcoming lower denture #3 will actually fit any better than lower denture #1 and lower denture #2, which were both atrocious. Lower denture #2, for instance, made me look like a werewolf. (And Sam was trying to be kind!)

Please stay tuned for additional information, okay?

MONDAY, 9:36 P.M. I’m enjoying a swell little bag of Pepperidge Farm pizza-flavor goldfish and In the Good Old Summertime (1949) starring Judy Garland and Van Johnson. I’m sure Sam will want to watch something else when he gets out of the shower because he’s not a huge fan of most musicals … with the exception of The Music Man (1962) starring Shirley Jones and Robert Preston, Born to Dance (1936) starring Eleanor Powell and James Stewart, 1776 (1972) starring Ken Howard and William Daniels, and The Wizard of Oz (1939) starring Judy Garland, Toto and one hell of a terrific twister. Sam’s least favorite musical by far has to be Gigi (1958) starring Leslie Caron and Maurice Chevlier. (He can’t stand Maurice Chevalier. I’m pretty sure it’s that creepy song he sings about little girls.)

Judy Garland and Van Johnson in “In the Good Old Summertime.”

Poor, useless, vapid Melania. Today she announced her latest initiative as First Lady — after her comical cyberbullying horseshit never quite got off the ground — called “Children’s Health and Well Being” with a pamphlet plagiarizing the content of a 2014 Obama administration booklet on the same topic. Ironically, an hour later Donald asked Congress to cut $7 billion from the Children’s Health Insurance Program. WHAT A PAIR OF ASSHOLES.

The happy Trumps, pictured here at their Inauguration Day luncheon.

We’re watching a favorite suspense movie right now: I Confess (1953) starring Montgomery Clift, Anne Baxter, Brian Aherne and Karl Malden. This is a terrific Alfred Hitchcock movie that I’ll bet you’ve never seen … a great story with lots of plot twists. It takes place in Quebec, and it’s about a priest named Father Michael Logan (Montgomery Clift) who hears a confession of murder from a church employee, and the priest winds up being the suspect for a murder he didn’t commit. Anne Baxter plays Ruth Grandfort, Father Logan’s girlfriend from before he became a priest. Sadly, Ruth is still madly in love with him even though she married a prominent attorney while Michael was away during World War II. Brian Aherne is fabulous as her attorney, and Karl Malden plays Inspector Larrue, a humorless pit bull police investigator.

Please see this movie sometime, because I think you’ll find it unique, entertaining, and a curious inside look at priests and confessions, providing you’re curious about priests, confessions and Catholic whatnots. I’m pleased to award I Confess with the Howdygram’s coveted four-star ★★★★ rating.

It’s almost midnight now, so I guess I’d better take some pills, shoot insulin and get ready for bed. Thank you for reading this … and please tell your friends, okay?

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