Wednesday, December 23, 2015

We’re a pair of latke-lovers who don’t celebrate Christmas.

Happy Wednesday night to you and yours. It’s already December 23 — mark your calendar! — and only two days until Christmas just in case you’re a doofus who hasn’t bought any presents yet. Sam and I have no worries whatsoever in this department because: 1) Santa sucks; 2) we don’t drown things with tinsel; 3) we don’t buy presents for goyim; and 4) we’re a pair of latke-lovers who don’t celebrate Christmas. GET OVER IT ALREADY!

The closest we come to acknowledging the annual Christian celebration of reindeer cookies and free shipping are EXCELLENT CHRISTMAS MOVIES. My favorites include White Christmas (1954) starring Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, The Bishop’s Wife (1947) starring Loretta Young and Cary Grant, and Christmas in Connecticut (1945) starring Barbara Stanwyck and Dennis Morgan. Sam loves It’s a Wonderful Life (1947) starring Jimmy Stewart and Mr. Potter.
Incidentally, Sam blew $160 this morning at Costco for a carload of spring rolls, tamales, teeny tacos, pleasant sliced cheese and five pounds of Foster Farms’ Buffalo chicken nipples, so if you’d like to stop by this weekend to eat things and watch a few of the aforementioned excellent Christmas movies please send an email as soon as possible so we can save you a seat in the family room.

Just in case you haven’t exploded your hard drive with all the new fonts I’ve been sending your way, I’ve got EVEN MORE for you today! Once again practically all of them are from, a free font website I discovered a few days ago that’s making me a deliriously happy handicapped senior citizen shut-in. If you want any of these fonts for yourself I’ll include the links below the graphic.

I’d like to continue typing but it’s already 9:45 and I’ve got some basic body maintenace scheduled before Sam gets home from work tonight. This would include a nice hot shower, moisturizing my hopelessly dry senior citizen shins and tweezing a couple of eyebrows. If there’s time afterwards I plan to park myself on the chaise in the family room and watch my new Pollyanna (1960) DVD starring Hayley Mills, Adolphe Menjou and a cast of millions. Shut the light when you’re through here, okay?

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