Everything’s bigger in Texas ... especially the douchebag that runs our state.

It’s 8:30 a.m. and Sam just went back to bed. He’s on vacation this week and can do whatever the hell he wants, whenever the hell he wants to do it, and this seemed like a perfect opportunity to grab another hour or two of sleep. I could use more, too, come to think of it, but I think I’ll take my nap in the family room because I’m still having an ongoing affair with a chaise lounge from Macy’s, pictured below for your possible interest.

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The Howdygram is grieved to report that Al Markim, who portrayed Astro from the planet Venus in the 1950s sci-fi TV program “Tom Corbett, Space Cadet,” died on Tuesday at the age of 88.

Markim turned to acting after serving in the Army and launched his weird career by appearing first in the soap opera “Love of Life” and one or two drecky off-Broadway dramas. But it was his big hoo-hah as Astro in the popular “Space Cadet” series — which aired from 1950 to 1955 — that earned him a permanent place in television history. The series was broadcast live from New York and featured seriously cheesy sets and technology.

By the mid-1960s Markim preferred to work behind the camera as an associate producer for MGM, eventually entering into a partnership with Sony to create the Video Corporation of America, which later merged with Technicolor ... most likely making him a rich old dude. In 1996 Markim was the first Venusian inducted into the Video Hall of Fame. Mazel tov!

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Everything’s bigger in Texas ... especially the douchebag that runs our state. Our latest Putz of the Week is Governor Greg Abbott, just one of the however-the-hell-many-is-it-now governors standing strong against allowing Syrian moms and toddlers into the United States ... but Abbott is really kicking it up to another level. He’s written an executive order banning refugees and has threatening to defund a relief agency if it has the gall to help move Syrians into the Lone Star State. Because he’s such a goddamn friendly asshole. On Monday Abbott demanded assurance from a major resettlement organization that is WILL NOT accept Syrian refugees and threatened legal action if his orders are defied.

The International Rescue Committee, a nonprofit based in New York that runs a program in Dallas, said “It is important not to conflate terrorists with the Syrian refugees who are seeking sanctuary in the United States.”

And the federal government has officially warned governors in states like Texas that THEY DO NOT HAVE THE POWER TO REFUSE SYRIAN REFUGEES. As a matter of fact, the State Department’s Office of Refugee Resettlement told state officials they would be breaking the law if they denied benefits or services to refugees based on their country of origin or religious affiliation. You can’t slam the door on Syrians and you can’t stop anyone from settling in your state once they’ve been vetted through the federal government’s refugee resettlement process, which can take up to two years.

Texas, of course, keeps trotting out their favorite bullshit that it shouldn’t have to take any more goddamn “furriners” because it already has too goddamn many and the state is exploding at the seams with “Muslins” ... but do you know how many Syrian refugees Texas has allowed within its borders since 2011? Exactly 180. ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY. I’ve seen more people than that standing in line at Whataburger!

Hey, I know! Maybe we can convince Governor Abbott that Syrian refugees are FETUSES!

Thank y’all for reading this.