In a surprise twist, however, the aforementioned gun-humpers didn’t show up where or when they said they would, clearly proving that nobody can predict when bad guys with guns will shoot up your school so everyone should be armed at all times. Ironically, the fake mass shooting was overwhelmed by a “large group of counter-protesters wielding dildos and bullhorns that generated farting sounds.”
The gun activists and fart advocates largely missed each other, however, thanks to the excellent strategic thinking of the pro-gun gang, who staged their “theatrical performance” of a mass shooting earlier and in a different location than originally announced. Holding their publicity stunt at a time and location where nobody but the performers would see it made a very serious point, organizer Murdoch Pizgatti explained: “Mass shootings happen unannounced. You must be armed.”
That’s really deep, isn’t it?
ThinkProgress had a dramatic video of the pretend slaughter, which included an asshole with a bullhorn reading from a badly-written script. Two more assholes in bandanas “shot” their victims with little cardboard guns and another drizzled them with Heinz ketchup as soon as they hit the ground. The police and media arrived way too late to witness the comedy. (They didn’t miss anything.)
Thank y’all for reading this!
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