Whether you’re planning to dress a gunshot wound or just play “mummy,” gauze bandages are a thoughtful gift.

Eureka, people, last night I finally discovered what’s the number one STRONGEST PAINKILLER IN THE WORLD. And it’s free, it doesn’t have any side effects like unwanted hair growth or diarrhea, you don’t need a prescription and there’s no such thing as an overdose. Give up?

Designing greeting cards.

After a morning of intense and relentless pain issues — including plantar fasciitis in both heels, knee pain, bleeding pressure ulcers on the back of both thighs and a bleeding rash on the left half of my body, all of which were so disgusting that I actually canceled a doctor’s appointment — I still felt like total shit when I sat down at my desk after a four-hour afternoon nap. However as soon as I started creating Sam & Marcy’s 2015 Christmas card for all the swell gentiles in our life, everything else just faded away and I EVEN FORGOT TO EAT DINNER. In case you’re interested here are the three backgrounds I’m considering.

Bottom line: When you get your brain involved with something creative it’s even better than two Norco tablets and diet ginger ale. Thank you for your support.

---

If you’re still shopping for those perfect stocking-stuffers please check out six-ply Kerlix Gauze Bandage Rolls at Allegro Medical. Whether you’re planning to dress a gunshot wound or just play “mummy,” gauze bandages are a thoughtful gift for all ages and a real steal today at $1.79 each. Don’t forget the office grab-bag!

---

Sam and I are getting ready to take advantage of a new transportation service here in Mesquite. STAR Transit will pick you up in front of your house and take you anywhere you want to go — and then come back to drive you home — in Mesquite and all the neighboring communities, including activities such as medical appointments, a shopping trip to Wal-Mart or bingo. In my case, we want to give this a shot for my December 22 appointment with Dr. M because it’s hard for me to shove my body in and out of our car plus my new bariatric wheelchair is very goddamn heavy and we don’t want Sam to rupture a vital organ. STAR charges one buck each way for a senior citizen; it’s two bucks for everybody else. And you have to call to reserve a ride at least 24 hours in advance. Is this exciting, or what?!

Please stay tuned for an upcoming review, okay?

---

I think that’s it for now. I’m having a hard time keeping my eyes open so I think I’ll go take a nap and to hell with everything else. Thank you for reading this.