Oh my God. It’s here.
At last — after nearly two months of waiting, yelling, pleading, maneuvering and outright hysteria — FedEx just delivered my goddamn wheelchair! I had a fried pie in my mouth (please see the first paragraph, above) when I heard the truck pull up in front of the house. Sam signed for the delivery, did a brief celebratory happy dance and then took off for Tom Thumb to buy himself a decadent dessert from the bakery and a pound of deli American cheese for yours truly.
Incidentally, when Sam unpacked the wheelchair carton we immediately discovered two things: 1) this is a VERY heavy and VERY sturdy piece of equipment for large yet attractive senior citizens who like to travel in style; and 2) THE PADDED ELEVATING LEG RESTS WERE MISSING. To say I’m not surprised would be the understatement of the century. I called my personal customer service dude at Shoplet and he said he’d have Drive Medical ship the leg rests to me on Monday. When this ordeal is finally over I want to beat him unconscious with my cane.
And now it’s time for a glorious nap and my all-time favorite sleeping movie: The Rains Came (1939) starring Myrna Loy, Tyrone Power, George Brent and Maria Ouspenskaya as a chain-smoking East Indian queen who plays bridge. (Seriously.)
Thanks for stopping by. In case you’re not ready to leave please hold the noise level down for a while, okay? I’m trying to sleep here.
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