Thursday, December 24, 2015

Very presidential, Marco. You worthless twat.

It’s 4:50 a.m. and I’m waiting for a jumbo-sized dose of painkillers to kick in so I can go back to bed and get some real sleep for a change. I woke up about 40 minutes ago for my middle-of-the-night senior citizen bathroom adventure and realized I was also in AGONIZING PAIN from my shitty joints, shitty swollen and sensitive legs (I have cellulitis) and the shitty sores on the back of my thighs. The following Shit-O-Meter report illustrates my point.
Incidentally, please forgive me for whining. I can’t help it — and I refuse to stop — because this is my goddamn blog and I’ll write whatever the hell I want. Thank you for putting up with me.

ATTENTION GOYIM ... today is Christmas Eve, and just in case you haven’t finished your holiday shopping yet you might want to give somebody the following three snazzy free fonts with a bow on them. (I’ll leave it to you to figure out how to do that.) A few minutes ago I downloaded all three of these from Stereo-Type at this link. Everybody loves fonts for Christmas and here’s your chance to make a few dreams come true!
Santa Sam (pictured above right) has approved this message.

These two Hormel Compleats entrees for handicapped senior citizens who can’t stand up to cook things — Beef Pot Roast and Salisbury Steak — might be the tastiest, cheapest and easiest meals on the planet if you can’t bribe your husband to drive through Taco Bell. The Beef Pot Roast is a respectably-sized wad of lean, high quality cow meat with a tasty brown sauce and lots of carrots and taters. The meat was so tender I ate it with a plastic Wal-Mart teaspoon (stop laughing) and the flavor rivaled homemade. No kidding, it was really that good.

The Salisbury Steak meal was equally terrific. It featured a large, nicely-seasoned slab of genuine ground meat in brown gravy on top of nice little sliced potatoes that reminded me of canned. (I have no problem whatsoever with canned potatoes.)

Both of these entrees earned the Howdygram’s coveted five-chopper rating.
I order my Compleats entrees online from Wal-Mart, where they’re $2.50 each with free shipping. Yesterday I ordered two more varieties to taste-test for the Howdygram: Turkey & Dressing and Meatloaf & Gravy. Stay tuned, okay?

Meet Marco Rubio, the idiotic lump of self-righteous garbage who’s still riding around in the GOP’s 2016 clown car. Rubio is a young and sweaty career politician who won six elections before his 41st birthday with ZERO ACCOMPLISHMENTS to his name. He has done almost no meaningful work in the Senate at all and gets extremely pissed when he’s questioned about it. So now Rubio is running ridiculous commercials claiming: “On Obamacare, some Republicans gave up. Some talked tough but got nowhere. For all the Republican talk about dismantling the Affordable Care Act, one Republican hopeful has actually done something: Marco Rubio.”
While this might sound compelling for a few GOP voters and much of the media, in truth Rubio rarely shows up for work and has missed more votes, briefings and committee meetings than any other senator in the nation ... unless he can concentrate his efforts to fucking up American families’ access to medical care. This is NOT something you should brag about during a presidential campaign unless you are A Idiot.

Rubio has recently tried to take credit for others’ work as a way of differentiating himself from President Obama. “I’m not like that other one-term senator who ran for president,” the Florida Republican has effectively argued, “because I’ve gotten things done in Congress.”


As a senator President Obama had a reputation as a workaholic, being well-prepared for briefings and hearings, introducing a lot of bills, and developing an expertise on serious issues like counter-proliferation.

Rubio, however, has never developed that kind of reputation. Colleagues see him as disengaged and phony, and the only legislation Rubio ever passed was participation in a measure called the “Girls Count Act” that encourages developing countries to register girls’ births.

He also helped to name September as National Spinal Cord Injury Awareness Month.

Very presidential, Marco. You worthless twat.

Thank you for reading this.

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