Saturday, December 26, 2015

Spring rolls, fried pies and flying monkeys. It’s Saturday at Howdygram headquarters!

Good evening and howdy from “Tornado Alley” in beautiful northeast Texas! Tonight and tomorrow the Dallas metro area is expecting a fuckton of VERY SCARY WEATHER that includes severe thunderstorms, wind, hailstones, twisters, flying monkeys and up to five inches of rain. There’s really not much we can do to prepare for a hoo-hah like this aside from tying down the patio furniture and watching It’s a Wonderful Life (1947) starring Jimmy Stewart, Ward Bond and Mr. Potter with a large volume of sugar-free fried pies from Fuel City in Mesquite. Frankly, I’m goddamn excited about all this even though we presently have an actual TORNADO WARNING in effect for the next half-hour because something huge and frightening just touched down in suburban De Soto, about 15 minutes from Mesquite as the monkeys fly. There is a vast quantity of lightning and thunder and it looks like we might have to hide in the storm shelter.

Note to Sam: In 2016 let’s build a storm shelter.

Devastating news today from the world of rhythm and blues. We’ve lost a Pip! William Guest, formerly of Gladys Knight and the Pips, pooped out on Thursday from congestive heart failure. He was 74.

Guest performed with Gladys Knight — who can be seen photobombing the following portrait — throughout the group’s amazing 36-year lifespan from 1953 to 1989. He sang background vocals on hits such as “I Heard It Through the Grapevine” and “Midnight Train to Georgia.”
Gladys Knight and the Pips were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1996 and the Apollo Hall of Fame in 2006.

As I write this post Sam is baking a tray of Costco spring rolls for dinner and simultaneously sitting in the garage watching the light show from an incoming tornado. We’re hoping the spring rolls will be done before the twister shows up because we’re really hungry. Thank you for reading this and please pass the soy sauce.

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