Today is Friday the 13th for the second month in a row.

Good morning to you and yours! I’m well-drugged, exceptionally happy and itching to write a nice juicy Howdygram post while I wait for Sam to wake up. Today is Friday the 13th ... FOR THE SECOND MONTH IN A ROW! I doubt if there’s any significance to this whatsoever unless you’re one of the 47 treasonous Republican senators who attempted to sabotage President Obama by writing a poison pen letter full of reckless, jaw-dropping bullshit directly to the foreign minister of Iran. For them, and from this day forward, EVERY day will be Friday the 13th as they face increasing national outrage for being a gang of bitter, immature shitbags.

Creepy Ted Cruz, who still believes he has a shot at the presidential nomination in 2016, is self-destructing before our very eyes. Check out this recent video clip of his embarrassing remarks to the International Association of Firefighters (IAFF). Every “applause point” is greeted by the sound of crickets, especially his outrageous attacks on the IRS and his annoying, whiny, unceasing threat to repeal every word of Obamacare ... to an audience that had wholeheartedly supported it.



It was only a matter of time. When a clown like Cruz speaks to radical right-wing tea partiers who don’t care about truth, this is the sort of ridiculous speech that would be a huge hit, but when he pulls this kind of crap in front of voters who read newspapers, care about facts and have the ability to think for themselves, he basically stands center-stage and pees in his pants.

The Howdygram is pleased to acknowledge Ted Cruz’s descent into a pathetic sideshow attraction with the following proclamation:

Mazel tov and drop dead,
you repulsive fucking poo-poo head.

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Anything exciting on your agenda for today? The only real hoo-hah we’re expecting here at Howdygram headquarters is our maid, who usually comes on Wednesday but had to reschedule this week due to her father being in the hospital. She’ll be here today instead at 2 p.m., which is fine with me because every day is pretty much like the next around here: WRITE, EAT, BELCH, WATCH A MOVIE, TAKE A NAP, REPEAT.

I love my life.