Sunday, February 22, 2015

We’re stocking up on essentials before the ice storm cometh.

Shalom, what’s up and howdy-do from north Texas! Sam is at Central Market as I write this post, a glorious gourmet grocery venue with so much excellent crap a person’s brain could explode. Central Market is basically a FOODIE HEAVEN ... a combination of Whole Foods and EatZi’s except exponentially HUGER and WAY BETTER. I especially love Central Market’s deli, prepared food and bakery, and they also have gorgeous produce to-die-for and the most enormous fresh meat department in the western hemisphere. Holy shitsky. The following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; and B) Central Market on Lovers Lane in Dallas.
At the moment Sam is weighing a bag of fresh tomatoes and will call me back as soon as he’s through so we can continue our shopping excursion on Face Time. As a housebound senior citizen with mobility issues this is a really big hoo-hah for me. Thank God Sam doesn’t mind narrating what’s on the shelves and shlepping his iPhone up and down all the aisles so I can see what’s what. For me it’s almost as good as being there.

Update: Sam just bought four juicy TWICE-BAKED POTATOES, a pound of ALBACORE TUNA SALAD, GREEN BEANS AMANDINE, MEATLOAF, a million KALAMATA OLIVES, a jar of HALF-SOUR KOSHER PICKLES and a fresh SLICED CHALLAH. Sam says the store is exceptionally crowded this morning, and I’m guessing that’s because we’ve got a winter storm warning. Dallas is expecting an inch of ice/sleet/freezing rain starting around 4 a.m. Monday and the National Weather Service is already predicting the whole city will shut down for a couple of days because nobody can drive on shit like that. So I’ll bet that’s why Central Market is so mobbed that Sam decided to skip the entire cheese department.

I’M STARVING. Thank you for reading this.

No comments: