Monday, February 16, 2015

News flash. I can’t warm up today.

Hello from Texas. I’M FREEZING MY ASS OFF. It’s 33° outside right now ... windy, slightly damp and thoroughly shitty. I’ve got my space heater on in the study and I’m considering a hot shower — with the water temperature set to “steam” — to try and warm up. This is all extremely unpleasant to senior citizens such as yours truly who suffer from internal thermostat issues. (I feel hypothermic in the middle of SUMMER.)

In other news, it’s almost 8:45 p.m. and I’m not hungry. This is weird as hell. I am, however, seriously considering my third extended nap of the day, so sleep might take precedence over food this evening. Right after that hot shower mentioned in the previous paragraph.

Today for lunch I tried Schwan’s Buffalo Style Boneless Wyngz, a peculiar chicken product that wants you to think you’re eating cheap chicken wings when you’re DEFINITELY NOT. Trust me: anything spelled “wyngz” will most likely disappoint you.
So if they’re not chicken wings, what are they? They’re WADS OF ACTUAL UNPROCESSED WHITE MEAT CHICKEN in a semi-tasty coating that’s not spicy enough to be real “Buffalo” or bland enough to feed the kids. They’re also all different sizes (so they don’t cook evenly), slightly chewy, not very interesting and substantially overpriced. The only positive feature is you can nuke your lunch in less than three minutes. These are definitely not the best thing Schwan’s sells and I don’t think I’ll ever order them again unless they’re almost (or completely) free.

The Howdygram is sad to report the passing of 1960s pop star Lesley Gore, who died of lung cancer today at the age of 68 in New York. Gore’s biggest hits included “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To,” You Don’t Own Me” and “Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows.” (Judging by those song titles I’m pretty sure she also suffered from schizophrenia.)
I’m in Lesley’s age group and remember all of her big hits when they were in the top 40. For your possible interest here’s a video of my favorite, “You Don’t Own Me,” from 1964. Please feel free to sing along if you know the words.

Thank you for reading this. I need that hot shower now.

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