Thursday, January 1, 2015

We’ve got freezing rain moving across our area right now.

Going to bed at 2 a.m. sounded like the right thing to do but turned out to not be such a hot idea. I guess I wasn’t tired enough, thrashed around for about 40 minutes and then migrated back into the study. It’s 4:15 and here I am. Lucky you.

We’ve got a band of very cold rain moving across our area right now with a lot of shitty ice (depicted in pink on the map below) not too far behind. How much ice we get will depend on where the temperature ends up, but at the moment we’re hovering at 31°. The red star denotes Howdygram headquarters. If you zoom in, I’m the senior citizen in a purple robe with a cane and a sugar-free Russell Stover marshmallow Santa. (Hi!)
Here’s our hourly forecast through 6 a.m. for your possible interest. WE’RE NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE TODAY. I promised Sam a nice pot of bean soup for lunch and I’d like to binge-watch the entire Thin Man movie series starring Willliam Powell and Myrna Loy. This sounds so fucking perfect I might have a nervous breakdown.

I’ve got a breaking news story from our What Will Those Wacky Japanese Eat Next department. Apparently the hottest new snack food in Japan is Nabisco’s Ritz Bits sandwiches filled with a fluffy blend of sweet peaches, mozzarella cheese, olive oil, salt, pepper and vinegar ... probably the most repulsive flavor profile in the history of eating. What the fuck?
Ritz Bits will be sold in teeny bags through the Japanese convenience store chain Family Mart at the affordable price of ¥106, or about 90¢ in U.S. currency. That’s a steal! Maybe if we leave RIGHT NOW they won’t run out before we get there!

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