Doug Mainwaring is a self-loathing imbecile.

Hi, everybody. If you’re not in the mood for a Howdygram political rant this might be the perfect opportunity to switch to another website because it’s my intent to rip the cover off the National Organization for Marriage’s paltry anti-gay marriage march on Washington today, where tens of misguided bigots for Jesus showed up at the National Mall to listen to hate speech. How freakin’ PATHETIC to be marching against the rights of other people! These dickheads love to say they’re doing this “to protect our children,” but what if one your children grows up to be gay? THEY’RE NOT ENTITLED TO RIGHTS LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE?

Typical morality agitators like Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee showed up to spout the same old horseshit that preventing gay people from equal rights is about love and not hate, that Christians deserve the religious freedom to discriminate against anybody they want by refusing to bake cakes or design floral centerpieces and that gays are bullies for fighting back against jerks who go out of their way to judge them and interfere with their lives.

Other highlighted speakers included: 1) Senator Ruben Diaz of New York, who promised to bus 55,000 supporters to Washington but wound up instead with about 200 (and none of them spoke English); 2) Reverend Bill Owens insisting that marriage equality is “a bully movement” and not a civil rights issue; and 3) this statement by the openly-gay founder of the National Capital Tea Party Patriots: “Hi, I’m Doug Mainwaring, I’m gay, and I support marriage between a man and a woman, period!”

I have a couple of thoughts about the preceding paragraph. First, how is it even remotely appropriate for Senator Diaz to bus immigrants to Washington to protest the rights of American citizens? And second, DOUG MAINWARING IS A SELF-LOATHING IMBECILE.

To lighten the mood a little I thought it might an appropriate moment to include the following video of guinea pigs eating watermelon. Because SUMMER!

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