I’m having horrible diabetic neuropathy issues in my feet today.

Hello, guys. It’s the wee hours of Monday morning — 12:40 a.m., in case you’re interested — and I’m still trying to figure out what happened to Saturday and Sunday. Sam tells me that I slept through nearly all of it, with the exception of a 15-minute visit from my new hospice case manager (an R.N. named Nancy) around noon on Saturday. I don’t remember much about Nancy except she had good hair.

---

In accordance with the public directive for residents of Dallas County, to prevent the spread of COVID-19 Sam and I are required to “shelter in place” until April 3, and for the time being I think we’ll be surviving nicely. We’ve got plenty to eat, clean towels, enough butt wipes to last us through a world war and seven jars of Mezzetta pitted Greek Kalamata olives. Woo-hoo!

Unfortunately, however, I CAN’T STOP SLEEPING. I lost the entire weekend — both Saturday and Sunday! — to 16-hour naps and not seeing any shred of daylight whatsoever. I just woke up from another one of those frightening marathon naps, so a few minutes ago I asked Sam to please make me a pouch of Mountain House Freeze-Dried Scrambled Eggs with Ham & Peppers because it’s very tasty, it’s very filling for a bedridden invalid such as yours truly, it’s packed with protein, and you (meaning Sam) will never have to wash a skillet afterwards! This is a favorite “go-to” quick and healthy meal. To make it completely perfect, all you need is rye toast.

However, in the days ahead I’ll have to hold off eating all 12 pouches — that’s how many I ordered from Amazon — because they’re supposed to be our emergency rations along with all of the following:

• Annie Chun’s Cooked White Sticky Rice (six)
• Mountain House Freeze-Dried Biscuits and Gravy (three)
• Ready Meals Kosher Shelf-Stable Beef and Lamb Kabobs with Quinoa (six)
• Ready Meals Kosher Shelf-Stable Stuffed Cabbage Rolls with Rice (three)
• Ready Meals Kosher Shelf-Stable Chicken Cholent with Potato Kugel and Kishka (three)
• Ready Meals Kosher Shelf-Stable Stuffed Chicken with Rice and Mushrooms (three)
• Ready Meals Kosher Shelf-Stable Chicken Chow Mein with Rice (three)
• Powdered Whole Eggs, 6 oz. pouches (six)
• Wise Company Freeze-Dried 72-Hour Food and Drink Supply: Chicken Noodle Soup, Creamy Pasta, Southwest Beans and Rice, Whey Milk (for four)
• Thrive Life Freeze-Dried Seasoned Grilled Sliced Chicken (three small cans)
• Thrive Life Freeze-Dried Crumbled Hamburger (two large cans)
• Thrive Life Freeze-Dried Crumbled Breakfast Sausage (two large cans)
• Thrive Life Freeze-Dried Instant Refried Beans (two large cans)
• Thrive Life Freeze-Dried Green Beans (two large cans)

We also have Hormel canned tamales, many frozen things and napkins.

---

During this time of emotional duress I think it’s important to continue expanding our collection of free fonts. So here’s the latest herd for your possible interest … which includes all kinds of display fonts (“Dark Graves,” “Westifal,” “Hophus Roghus”), fascinating scripts (“Pallawa,” “Maldiva,” “Jazz Script”), hand-drawn fonts (“Fried Chicken,” “Chimpo”) and layered fonts (“Hamelin,” “Rockbitz”). Download links will appear below the graphic. And remember … all of these fonts are kosher for Passover, which begins on April 8.

Westifal • Pallawa • Swordfish • Chimpo • Maldiva • Jazz Script

Hophus Roghus • Dark Graves • Fried Chicken • Hamelin • Rockbitz

---

I’d like to share my latest acquisition of high-resolution digital art, which was on sale yesterday (at 50% off) from Etsy.com. I bought the collections pictured below for about $1.50 each from two of my favorite shops … Julie Campbell Designs and Things by Lary. I can’t wait to start designing!

Within the next two or three days The Howdygram Store will post 270 new iPhone cases in addition to the 765 already in my shop. And as long as I’m shamelessly plugging my business, this might be a fine time to share six of my latest designs, each available in up to 15 color options. Are these fabulous, or what?

---

Holy crap … I’m having HORRIBLE diabetic neuropathy issues in my feet today. They feel like I’m wearing miserable shoes with tight straps, or a pair of fucking tourniquets! My toes and feet are killing me. And believe it or not, whenever I see my podiatrist (Dr. Wright, who makes house calls) he laments that I’m the only patient he’s ever had with ingrown toenails … who doesn’t WALK or WEAR SHOES! My next appointment is April 16.

---

Kenny Rogers, 81, whose legendary music career spanned six decades, died yesterday of natural causes surrounded by his immediate family.

Rogers was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame in 2013. He had 24 number one hits and sold more than 50 million albums in the United States alone. He was also a six-time Country Music Awards winner and three-time Grammy Award winner. Some of Rogers’ hits included “Lady,” “Lucille,” “We’ve Got Tonight” and “Through the Years.” His 1978 song “The Gambler” inspired multiple TV movies with Rogers as the main character. In 1985 Rogers participated in the original recording of “We Are the World” along with more than three dozen artists.

In 2015 Rogers retired from performing and touring in order to spend time with his two younger children. “My life is about my wife and my 11-year-old twin boys right now. There are a lot of things I want to do together with them to create some special memories. I don’t have a bucket list of my own ... I have a bucket list of things I want to do with them.” (Sounds like a fine idea, doesn’t it?)

The family plans a small, private funeral service out of concern for the COVID-19 pandemic but will organize a celebration of Kenny Rogers’ life at a later date with an appropriate number of sobbing celebrities (i.e., Dolly Parton) and decent prime-time TV coverage.

---

I hope somebody can explain to me how I’m supposed to get through this Coronavirus shelter-in-place hoo-hah when China City is closed. Closed, damn it! I can’t get Hot and Sour Soup! I can’t get Steamed Dumplings! I can’t get Egg Foo Young! China City isn’t answering the phone! They’re not delivering! I’M HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!

Whew. Thank you for reading this.