Oy, you’ll never believe what I just did.
Never. Therefore I’ll begin tonight’s Howdygram post with one of my favorite topics!
I just placed an order on
Goldbelly.com for
six gigantic meat knishes from Factor’s Deli* in Los Angeles and
two dozen latkes from Kenny & Ziggy’s Deli in Houston. You have no idea how much I miss Jewish food — something we can’t find here in the Dallas area — and Sam gave me the go-ahead to feed my craving. Today’s total price: $153.95 including overnight shipping. Both orders will arrive on Wednesday. And after they’re all gone my next order will be a great big container of Kenny & Ziggy’s stuffed cabbage and half a dozen jumbo matzo balls. (I’m so hungry right now I almost can’t stand it.)
Incidentally, I also ordered something incredible for Sam that has nothing whatsoever to do with Jewish food. I just bought him a five-pound brick of
Mercken’s caramel from
Amazon for next-day delivery. Sam used to eat Mercken’s caramel by the fistful when we lived in Los Angeles and owned our custom chocolate company. I always tried to keep Mercken’s caramel in stock … and it was mostly for Sam. He’d grab a chunk from the five-pound brick, roll it into a ball and then walk around the house
eating it like an apple!
The last time Sam enjoyed this “guilty pleasure” was 13 years ago when we still lived in California. (Holy crap. Where have the years gone?)
Barely 24 hours after I placed my order I received an email from
Goldbelly.com that Factor’s Famous Deli has discontinued (for now) all online ordering and shipments.
Holy crap, I can’t even get half a dozen stinking knishes?! Instead … I went back to
Goldbelly and ordered
kishka and gravy (pictured below) from Liebman’s Kosher Deli in New York City. Arrival is expected on Thursday, March 19, but stay tuned.
I’m pleased to introduce my latest gang of free fonts for your possible interest, all of which are intensely useful and adorable. My favorites are “Broster” and “Trushme.” You’ll find download links below the graphic in case you want some (or all) of these for your personal collection. Thank you.
I discovered yesterday that I didn’t showcase all of the new images I bought last week from my favorite shop on
Etsy.com. You know, when I had that incredible
one-day splurge event. All of the images below are from Things by Lary, an amazingly talented designer. I own 56 of her collections (a total of 5,175 images), which I use to create greeting cards and iPhone cases for
The Howdygram Store. (My designs win awards and accolades from
Zazzle.com’s marketing team.)
Thank you.
Tonight is CRAZY MOVIE NIGHT here at Howdygram headquarters. I just finished
SUSAN SLADE (1961), a teenage tragedy/soap opera about the horror of getting knocked up without marriage starring Connie Stevens and Troy Donahue, and now Sam and I are watching
MADAM SATAN (1930) starring Reginal Denny. (He refused to watch
Susan Slade with me.) I first saw
Madam Satan a few years ago, and it was one of the weirdest movies I’d ever seen. It’s an early talkie and a Cecil B. DeMille over-the-top extravaganza, which should tell you a lot right off the bat. The first half of the movie is a routine “unfaithful husband” yarn; the second half is a bizarre masquerade party with thousands of guests
— in terrifying costumes — dancing like maniacs on an enormous moored blimp. (Seriously. A blimp!)
When we’re done with
Madam Satan we want to see
THE UNINVITED (1944), a terrific, creepy ghost story starring Ray Milland, Ruth Hussey and Donald Crisp, and then we’ll be ready for a brand new episode of “Bar Rescue.”
Woo-hoo!
Oh my God, people … I’m so sick of Coronavirus news I want to SCREAM. Wherever I go online I’m bombarded with guidelines, recommendations, closures, shutdowns, checklists, pie charts, misery, hysteria and the general population whining about a nationwide toilet paper shortage. I know the shelves have been picked clean in your local grocery stores, but manufacturers haven’t stopped production and there’s no reason to believe they’ll never ship another truckload of paper goods in our lifetime.
JUST CHILL THE FUCK OUT!
I know many of you are stuck at home right now. Maybe with your spouses. And your
kids are probably stuck at home, too …
indefinitely. Frankly, I think this is an ideal time to be a bedridden, retired and childless senior citizen with a full-time caregiver (Sam) and a steady stream of hospice nurses. I don’t miss going out because I
don’t go out. I’ve been lying on this hospital bed in the family room, facing the same wall, since spring 2017 (not counting five trips to the hospital via ambulance). Therefore I believe that everybody should take advantage of all this “home time” to explore the classic movies on TCM and learn to love Errol Flynn, Paul Muni, Ronald Colman, Greer Garson, Danny Kaye, Joel McCrea, William Powell, Myrna Loy and Bette Davis …
as much as we do!
I’m having a hell of a lousy time right now with spring allergies — runny eyes, nasal congestion, a post-nasal drip — in addition to my everyday shitty knee pain, neuropathy “electric shocks” in my feet and hands, tremors, very low blood pressure and a generally “blah” disposition that I try to hide from Sam … and all of
you.
I definitely have to eat something now, because it’s been 19 hours since my last meal. Thank you for reading this, and please remember the Alamo.
Please!
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