TELL ME WHAT TIME IT IS. I keep asking … is it day or night? And Sam doesn’t seem to be much help, because he’s been asking the same question whenever he wakes up from another multi-hour nap. (I think he sleeps even more than I do.)
MY APPETITE IS REALLY OFF THE WALL. I started my day this morning at 2:30 a.m. with a nice, nourishing — okay, not really — vat of steaming Campbell’s French Onion soup that mostly just cleared my sinuses and not much else. After I ate I conked out for 13 hours, sleeping through my weekly checkup with a hospice nurse and our bi-weekly maid service. (She even vacuumed under my hospital bed. I didn’t hear a thing.)
I’VE BEEN HAVING OUTRAGEOUS, VIVID DREAMS. Last night’s masterpiece had me living by myself in an apartment and coming home one day to find a moving company carrying my furniture out to a big van on the street. My sister (Robin) and best friend (Sandi) are both there, and they’re trying to calm me down and reassure me that my landlord transferred my lease to another building but I shouldn’t worry because I can afford the new rent. This prompts me to shriek: STOP IT! THAT’S NOT THE POINT! PUT EVERYTHING BACK WHERE IT WAS! I DON’T WANT TO MOVE! And can you guess why? It’s because: 1) my current apartment was one flight up from an excellent 24-hour all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet; and 2) I had free underground parking.
MY APPETITE IS REALLY OFF THE WALL. I started my day this morning at 2:30 a.m. with a nice, nourishing — okay, not really — vat of steaming Campbell’s French Onion soup that mostly just cleared my sinuses and not much else. After I ate I conked out for 13 hours, sleeping through my weekly checkup with a hospice nurse and our bi-weekly maid service. (She even vacuumed under my hospital bed. I didn’t hear a thing.)
I’VE BEEN HAVING OUTRAGEOUS, VIVID DREAMS. Last night’s masterpiece had me living by myself in an apartment and coming home one day to find a moving company carrying my furniture out to a big van on the street. My sister (Robin) and best friend (Sandi) are both there, and they’re trying to calm me down and reassure me that my landlord transferred my lease to another building but I shouldn’t worry because I can afford the new rent. This prompts me to shriek: STOP IT! THAT’S NOT THE POINT! PUT EVERYTHING BACK WHERE IT WAS! I DON’T WANT TO MOVE! And can you guess why? It’s because: 1) my current apartment was one flight up from an excellent 24-hour all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet; and 2) I had free underground parking.
I think I’m having a nervous breakdown, boys and girls. Seriously.
There’s a lot of breathtaking underwater Technicolor cinematography to make up for occasionally cheesy acting (Robert Wagner was still a “newbie” at the time) and a corny, unimaginative plot. But believe it or not, Beneath the 12-Mile Reef was actually an accurate depiction of the Greek sponge diving industry and was filmed at authentic locations in Tarpon Springs, Florida, not counting two stupid errors that made me want to shove my foot through the coffee table (if I could get out of bed). For instance …
SCREW-UP #1. Robert Wagner’s character had an unrealistic name. I was part of a huge Greek family (by marriage) for almost 20 years, so you’ll have to trust me on this: GREEKS DON’T NAME THEIR SONS “TONY,” because “Tony” is Italian. Greeks name their sons “Nick,” “Gus,” “Dino” or “Pete.” Got that?
SCREW-UP #2. I never met a Greek with a mop of hair like Little Orphan Annie.
SCREW-UP #2. I never met a Greek with a mop of hair like Little Orphan Annie.
Subject to the recall are one-pound vacuum-packed packages containing lot code 0060, case code 11402 and a use- or freeze-by date of 01/31/2020 on the product label. The beef was packed on January 6 and shipped to retail locations in Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service.
NBA legend KOBE BRYANT, 41, and his 13-year-old daughter Gianna were among nine people killed yesterday afternoon in a helicopter crash in Calabasas, California. Apparently the helicopter plowed into the side of a mountain in dense fog. Oy.
Bryant and Gianna were on their way to a youth basketball game at the time of the accident. Among the victims were another player and parent. The Los Angeles County Sheriff said there were no survivors.
Drafted 13th by the NBA in 1996 — straight out of a Philadelphia high school — Bryant was a five-time NBA champion, a two-time NBA Finals MVP and the 2008 NBA MVP. The 18-time All Star retired in 2016 after 20 seasons in the league … all with the Los Angeles Lakers.
Bryant married Vanessa Laine Bryant in 2001, and they had four daughters together. Their oldest, Natalia, is 17, and their youngest, Capri, is 7 months old. They also have a 3-year-old, Bianka.
After his playing days ended, Bryant transitioned into a fascinating retirement. He won an Academy Award in 2018 for the animated short Dear Basketball and also created a children’s book series, inspired by his love for Harry Potter, which became a New York Times bestseller.
Time to move on! It’s the wee hours of Monday morning, Sam just shampooed my hair, and I think I’d like eat something substantial — maybe a big vat of Progresso Garden Vegetable soup — and watch one of my favorite “comfort” movies, such as Pollyanna (1960) starring Hayley Mills and Jane Wyman.
Thank you for reading this, and please do your best to remember the Alamo. Frankly, I’m sick of reminding you. (Just kidding.)
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